Thursday, September 29, 2005

Your patriotic duty

I want to again encourage my readers to support the NAMI Campaign for the Mind of America. Heaven knows we need it. Even President Bush might benefit according to Lawrence O'Donnell of The McLaughlin Group.

See The McLaughlin Group from 9/23/05 in which O'Donnell asserts that Bush's comparison of Hurricane Katrina to terrorism is a clear sign of his deteriorating mental state.

So whether it's recognizing a good cause, empathy, guilt, or just acknowledging your patriotic duty to help your poor addled president; please click on the link below. You will at least get the Savant out from behind his computer and showing his face in the light of day and you will definitely be doing some good for those who, unlike Bush, often have a difficult time speaking out for themselves.

Thank you.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Weather or not

Fate seizes but, rarely, it grants.
We're so tired of the Bush song & dance
That we hope he takes heed
And chooses to lead
And with Rita, he'll get a new chance.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Missed ya lie!

Brother Kenya and his eagle eyes
Left me no other choice than revise.
Now with hardly a trace
Of egg on my face
I have captured the pullet surprise.

Wow! Thanks to Elisson for selecting my photo caption (in limerick form, of course) as the winner in his recent contest.

The last time I won something was in seventh grade when the prize was The Heritage of the Cleveland Indians record album featuring veteran sportscaster, Jimmy Dudley.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

YAP - Yet, Another Plea

No limerick today. Just another plea for support. This is NAMI's primary fund raiser of the year and, though there are many worthwhile causes seeking support in the wake of Katrina, we must not neglect those that still need our help. Maybe you have a neighbor, co-worker, or family member (I do) who is trying to cope with mental illness. Or maybe, like me, you have worked in the field of mental health. (What! You thought I earn a living doing this?). Please consider walking in your local event, if you have one, or make a donation (no matter how small) to someone who is walking. (Am I such a bad choice?)

For this week ONLY, I will send a signed copy of my chapbook, Four-year Funk, to all readers who sponsor my walk with a donation of $10 or more. Click the NAMIWalks link below for more information on this very worthwhile cause. Or check it out with charity evaluation links below.

The Campaign for the Mind of America is a multi-year effort on many fronts to promote investment in recovery and to prevent the abandonment of yet another generation of Americans with mental illnesses to neglect and hopelessness. The Campaign highlights the need to build a comprehensive, efficient system to screen, evaluate, diagnose and treat mental illnesses at every stage of life.

NAMI is a 501(c)3 charity and any donation you make to support my participation in this event is tax deductible. NAMI has been rated by Worth magazine as among the top 100 charities "most likely to save the world" and has been given an "A" rating (better than the American Red Cross, CARE, MDA, or Farm Aid to name a few) by The American Institute of Philanthropy for efficient and effective use of charitable dollars. NAMI has also been given 3 out of 4 stars by The Charity Navigator for short-term spending practices and 4 out of 4 stars for long-term sustainability.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Friday, September 16, 2005

Let them eat pork rinds

She could dictate voluminous tomes
About building survivors new homes.
Barbara Bush has decreed
That, for people in need,
Nothing's better than living in domes!

What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."

Barbara Bush in an NPR radio interview, after visiting with Hurricane Katrina evacuees in the Astrodome in Texas, 8/5/2005

Maybe Dubya plans on appointing his mom to lead the Urban Homesteading Act initiative?

Bush Promises a Massive Rebuilding of Gulf Coast
Los Angeles Times, 9/16/05

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

The bittersweet truth

"Stupid is as stupid does" - F. G.

'Til Roberts becomes the Chief Ump,
His answers are likely to stump.
'Nless we bite, you can bet
We won't know what we get.
He's choc'lates and we're Forrest Gump.

Roberts Resists Specifics in Senate Session
By Nina Totenberg, NPR, 9/13/05

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Dubya's Disaster Relief

Recognizing his ratings are dire
Mr. Bush plans that FEMA rehire.
To Brown: "Hold your horses;
You've not the resources-
Need a fireman to put out that fire!"

Career firefighter named new FEMA director
San Jose Mercury News, 9/13/05

Monday, September 12, 2005

Biting the hand that feeds, again?

Yesterday, when my limerick appeared
In the paper, the feeling was weird.
Why is it the Press
That gets to profess
Who's worthy to be blogosphered?

Blogosphere Cleveland
Compiled by John Campanelli, The Plain Dealer, 9/11/05

[sorry, no link, so instead I link to BFD's discussion of this column]

Sunday, September 11, 2005

We have nothing to fear but FOTA

[FOTA (Fear of the Alternative) was taken from an article written by Fareed Zakaria for NewsWeek in February of 2002, How to Save the Arab World. I use the concept with different meaning here]

Recyle Alert!
(reworked limerick from a previous post)
I have reworked one of the first limericks from my original website to commemorate the 4th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks.

The evil of Mohammed Atta
Cannot be discerned from the data,
For facts often lie,
Beliefs go awry,
And the Truth doesn't fly on errata.

But the heart may eventually find
What is already known in the mind:
No matter the fear
To which they adhere,
True believers are all of a kind.

So after four years we remember
Events of that day in September.
That innocence lost
Was part of the cost,
Burns on in our hearts like an ember.

Katrina's become the new headline;
Her survivors are queued in the bread line
But, still, if you squint
To read the fine print,
It says, "Life always comes with a deadline."

Uncertainty from 9/11 lingers over generation
By Barry Petchesky, The Charlotte Observer, 9/11/05

Friday, September 09, 2005

Money talks - LS walks!

Yes, he's frequently pitching the talk -
So as not to be called for the balk,
October the 1st,
Neither forced nor coerced,
The Savant will be walking the walk.

But he needs your support for this worthy cause.

Click on the NAMIWALKS link below to sponsor me.

As a special offer to the loyal readers of this blog, I will send a signed copy of the Limerick Savant's chapbook, Four-year Funk, to anyone who donates $15 or more as a sponsor. The chapbook is a beautiful handmade collection of past limericks, and it sports a three color silk screen cover. It is sure to become a collector's item (dust collectors, that is).


The Campaign for the Mind of America is a multi-year effort on many fronts to promote investment in recovery and to prevent the abandonment of yet another generation of Americans with mental illnesses to neglect and hopelessness. The Campaign highlights the need to build a comprehensive, efficient system to screen, evaluate, diagnose and treat mental illnesses at every stage of life.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Kanye believe it?

We know Dubya could just bust a cap
In his ass for the hurricane flap;
But it's Kanye's belief
FEMA's feeble relief
Means that Bush should be takin' the rap.

Which "rap" deserves to be heard? You be the judge:
[N.B. - You will not get a Supreme Court nomination whichever you pick]

Kanye West on NBC or Michael Brown's FEMA pap

NBC Deletes Rap Star's Remarks on Telethon
By Matea Gold and Scott Collins
Los Angeles Times, 9/4/05

Friday, September 02, 2005

Rising tide of criticism

How much agony could have been spared
Had we only been better prepared?
Should the Poor and the Black
Seek relief from Iraq,
Where it seems like our government cared?

That being said...
How You Can Help: Donate Now
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alabama Governor’s Emergency Relief Fund
Please mail checks or money orders to:
Alabama Governor's Emergency Relief Fund
P.O. Box 1523
Montgomery, AL 36102
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Louisiana Disaster Recovery Foundation
Please mail checks or money orders to:
Louisiana Disaster Recovery Foundation
1201 North Third Street, Suite 7-240
PO Box 94095
Baton Rouge, LA 70804-9095
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mississippi Hurricane Relief Fund
Please mail checks or money orders to:
Mississippi Hurricane Relief Fund
P.O. Box 139
Jackson, MS 39205
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Or click here for TTLB's aggregator of Katrina charities

Critics Say Bush Undercut New Orleans Flood Control
By Jim VandeHei and Peter Baker
Washington Post, 9/2/05

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Have I got a war for you!

Just saw the movie, The Aristocrats, with my wife on Monday (bargain night at the "Seedy-Lee," our local independent film theatre). If you are not familiar with the film, it deals with the "dirtiest joke ever" which has become a sort of off stage challenge for comedic one-upsmanship among performers. Certainly a movie for acquired, if not depraved, tastes; but showing to a packed house nevertheless. I have to admit I laughed, despite myself (and my rather low rating on "vulgar" in the "3 Variable Funny Test" that you may have noted in my previous post), especially at some of the cleverer twists on the basic theme. The joke is even told as a card trick and in mime during the screening. In no way consider this an endorsement and certainly don't mistake this film for the animated Disney movie of similar title!

So, as we are leaving the theater (yes, at the end), my wife says to me, "I wonder if it has ever been told as a limerick?" Well, how could I resist such a challenge?

In order to maintain my PG-13 rating on this blog, I have posted the limerick on "The Aristocrats" joke challenge site. Do to the constraints of their posting format, I needed to expand beyond my usual limerick form, but I think the limerick within can stand on its own as well. It would probably help if you saw the movie first (still not an endorsement) and I include my usual "Get the story" link below to explain my punch line for the nightly news challenged.

Have a look if you're so inclined but please do not click on link below if:
1. You are under 18 years of age (Yeah, like that'll stop you)
2. You have delicate sensibilities (Then why are you reading this blog?)
3. You are my mother (Really, mom, please don't! I don't want to have to explain it later).

Presenting the Limerick Savant's version of The Aristocrats or
Have I got a war for you! - An Allegory

Disclaimer: There are things more obscene than sexual and scatological references. Any resemblance of characters in this joke to real persons, living or undead, is purely coincidental; but if the shoe fits...

Global Struggle against Violent Extremism: Marketing Gimmick or Ominous Turn?
Robert Higgs, The Independent Institute, 8/8/05

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Well, they are half right

I don't normally bother with these things but I followed a link at Texas Trifles and just couldn't help myself. Nothing I didn't already know but maybe that speaks to the accuracy? Hah! By the way, note my opposite in the matrix.


the Wit
(57% dark, 26% spontaneous, 36% vulgar)
your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK




You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're
probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You
realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons'
philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most
other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.



You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm
talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.



PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais





My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 99% on dark
You scored higher than 0% on spontaneous
You scored higher than 99% on vulgar
Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

Monday, August 22, 2005

No illusions

I kept dreaming the world might change course
If my words could just carry more force;
But now, more mature,
I just spread my manure
As I blog that proverbial horse.

Thanks to Cowtown Pattie for pointing out how prescient our spellcheckers can be.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Mourning in America



These photos should act as reminders,
In this life, we're not keepers, but finders
Who shouldn't wage war
Without knowing the score;
And that starts by removing the blinders.

U.S. forced to release honor-guard photos
The Plain Dealer, 8/5/05

Friday, August 12, 2005

Cindy: Crawford's cover girl

Cindy Sheehan is still asking why
Mr. Bush thinks her son had to die.
Don't you think it is right
That all parents unite
And demand that he give a reply?

Anti-war voice resonates in mother's Texas vigil
By Edwin Chen and Dana Calvo (Los Angeles Times),
Seattle Times, 8/11/05

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

War: the ultimate reality show

So, the tightrope becomes ever tauter
That suspends your brave son or your daughter.
They believe in the cause
But their deaths should give pause:
Are we leading our lambs to the slaughter?



War hits Ohio hard
Thousands share grief, pride
Brian Albrecht, The Plain Dealer, 8/9/05

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

More U.N.doing

Bush was salving his ego despite
A Senate, not through with the fight.
A recess appointment's
A fly in that ointment
That might just return with a bite.

Bush bypasses Senate to install Bolton as UN envoy
Jamie Wilson in Washington
The Guardian, 8/2/05

Sunday, July 31, 2005

When Irish guys aren't killing

If the acts of this "new" IRA
Hold true to the words that they say;
Then a world full of eyes
Will smile down on these guys,
Sure, they'll steal our hearts away.

IRA Order Met With Hope, Skepticism
Los Angeles Times, 7/31/05

Friday, July 29, 2005

The opposition goes south

Tom Delay said, "we'll do what we hafta
In order to ratify CAFTA."
GOP toed the line;
Mr. Bush got his "mine,"
While constituents got just the shafta!

House passes free-trade agreement in tight vote
The Boston Globe, 7/28/05

A lesson for President Bush?

Even using a finer-toothed comb
Hasn't solved the conundrum of "foam."
So, in order to save
Its "home of the brave,"
NASA's having its brave remain home.

Behind Chunks of Foam, a Failure to Confront Hazard
Los Angeles Times, 7/29/05

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

The victims' response

Spreading murder and mayhem and strife,
Rudolph cut through our lives like a knife.
His choice: deadly force,
As a matter of course.
That's why, in his case, we're pro-life!

Rudolph gets life in abortion clinic blast
Chicago Tribune, 7/19/05

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

The Savant recommends-

Some bloggers are overly chatty;
Some posture, or act really bratty.
This Texan, no trifle,
Shoots straight as a rifle.
In Cowtown? I'd step in on Pattie.

Friday, July 15, 2005

It doesn't begin with Dubya

Who cares about duties he shirks?
Consider it one of his perks.
With Bush, we have found
We lose far less ground
The fewer the hours that he works.

Report: Workers Lazing with Too Little Work
NPR, 7/12/05

Thursday, July 14, 2005

We'll go no more a Rove-in'

Well, by Jove, it seems Rove's up a creek
With the White House refusing to speak.
We think it a pity
They haven't hired Liddy
And his bumblers "Plumbers" to handle the leak.

Rove Isn't the Real Outrage
By Richard Cohen, The Washington Post, 7/14/05

Friday, July 08, 2005

With apologies to the monkeys

After decades, debate over "Scopes"
Has creationists now on the ropes.
For no cogent design
By creator, divine,
Could produce such incredible dopes!


The Scopes Monkey Trial, 80 Years Later
NPR, 7/8/05

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Keeping terrorism over there?

Whether in for a penny or pound,
Britons knew that their turn would come 'round.
Now Olympic elation
Has suffered deflation
As that turn took a turn underground.

London Olympic Jubilation Turns to Horror
San Francisco Chronicle, 7/7/05

Thursday, June 23, 2005

On the road: About time

Forty years and a jury is willin'
To convict on this Klansman's blood spillin'.
The verdict he got,
Whether "murder" or not,
Proves that Killen is taken for killin'.

The FBI's Mississippi Myopia
By Ron Carver, The Washington Post, 6/23/05

Saturday, June 18, 2005

On the road: Cooking up art

No telling how long it will take
For that 20 year overnight break;
But, Rene, not to worry.
Your show in Salisbury
Will let everyone know what's at stake.



Waterworks Visual Arts Center
Salisbury, NC
"High Fire: kiln-transformed glass" June 18 - Aug 27

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Not goin' ta Crawford, yet again

I'm suspending my limerick creation
While taking a little vacation.
Those sorry to learn
I plan to return
Will have to suppress their elation.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Searching for a truth

If I may wax prosaic for the moment – I occasionally check to see who's linking to my sight and how. There are numerous referrals from Google searches, predictably ones related to limericks or Limerick. I gather that many of those visitors are disappointed by the lack of bawdy verse or Irish pride and rush right off to search for nude photos of the Irish tenors or the like.

Though I am a fan of the "traditional" limerick in all its anatomical depravity (Edward Lear, despite how it sounds, focused strictly on nonsense rhymes, however) and my maternal grandmother was born in Ireland (Mayo, not Limerick; hence an intense loathing for Miracle Whip, except when applied in one of those depraved limericks); I have chosen to save such efforts for private audiences of 200 to 300 of my closest friends, while stoned out of my head at a Lyle Lovett concert, perhaps. Those desperate for something more lewd might still find one or two examples buried on the Savant's old website.

So I wasn't surprised yesterday to find that someone had found my blog through a Google search. What caught my attention was the choice of search terms: "savant" "godzilla" "strawberry." Why would someone choose this particular set of words? Had they found my limerick on Prince Charles' wedding (Live and let Di) so memorable yet forgotten to bookmark my site? Not likely! Maybe they were looking for a letter to Marilyn vos Savant concerning the most efficient path for a Japanese monster to take through the berry patch resulting in the greatest destruction? Or possibly it was just one of those word puzzles people like to send her? And what is it that possesses people to send those inane questions to the self-professed know-it-all of Parade magazine? Oh yeah, asked and answered.

What was even more astonishing was that in addition to the Limerick Savant's link (#1 on the search list), there were 176 other hits for that combination of search terms! Now I know that my associations can at times be as loose as Jethro's last tooth (my grandmother might have said "as a Dublin whore"), but I hadn't counted on there being that much disorder in the net world. Fortunately (or not) most of the links were pretty mundane. There were several for toys (the Marilyn vos Savant doll?); a few related to baseball (I get Darryl Strawberry, but Godzilla? Must be Jose Canseco.); and a number were people's mp3 playlists (no accounting for tastes there).

But stranger than all of the above was the link to an interview with Daniel Johnston on his Rejected Unknown website. I loved the title immediately and I was intrigued by the story of this artist/singer/songwriter. The interview, it appears, took place in a psychiatric hospital and elsewhere on the site they reveal that Mr. Johnston suffers from Bi-polar Disorder (sometimes referred to as Manic Depression). I don't know if that is relevant and I am usually put off by such references, since I work with mental health consumers in the job that actually pays and I know all too well the impact of stigma. I think it can occur in reverse when so-called "outsider artists" are marveled at as some sort of performing primates (this I also find distasteful) who, were it not for their special talent, would be relegated to the society's back alleys. "Outcast Art" might be a more appropriate term.

Mr. Johnston and his songs, however, have been embraced by the music community, a motley crowd as it is; and, though it is hard to judge all the possible motivations in play, there seems to be a genuine appreciation of the innocent and direct quality of his music and lyrics. I am reminded by this apparent naïve worldview of another artist, Henry Darger, who's work was only uncovered after his death. I had the good fortune to see a show of the work at the Art Institute of Chicago several years ago. It was fascinating and imaginative stuff. Darger is the subject of a wonderful recent documentary, "In the Realms of the Unreal" which I highly recommend. Both of these men seem to share an obsessive need to create and were highly prolific in that regard. I can admire that kind of dedication, having experienced the competing demands that infringe on my desire to blog.

Now I am probably the last individual on the planet to have "discovered" Daniel Johnston; since covers of his songs have been done by the likes of Beck, Death Cab for Cutie, and Tom Waits, and Matt Groening is a big fan of his paintings and drawings. But I am intrigued by the fact that the juxtaposition of three unlikely word companions led me down this road. It makes me believe that there is a whole world of Googling by free association that awaits me out there. Who knows what wonders I might discover with the likes of "sphincter," "plum" and "radial tire" in combination!

Still, "savant," "godzilla," and "strawberry?" Who was that masked Googler; and what were they searching for?

Friday, June 10, 2005

B-2,300 weeks before Social Security

How does that commencement day thing go?
When Russert recycles his lingo
In speeches to grads,
The lasses and lads,
At Harvard, are calling out "Bingo!"

Russert Draws Laughs, Dispenses Advice
Students tease news anchor on ‘Meet the Press’ about his predictability
By VINITA M. ALEXANDER, The Crimson, 6/9/05

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Patriots Act!

It's time that each citizen be sure
How we act as to 'search' and to 'seizure:'
When rights are erased
By Congress, in haste,
We get to repent it at leisure!

"Married in haste, we may repent at leisure."
- William Congreve (1670-1729)
English dramatist
from The Old Bachelor, act v. sc. 1.

We are not yet married to this terrible breach of civil liberties.
Contact your representatives now!

'Secret' Senate meeting on Patriot Act
The Christian Science Monitor, 6/6/05


Pruning the Patriot Act
The Boston Globe, 6/8/05