He made us Witness this?

All at once, without skipping a beat
Cleveland suffers its latest defeat.
Now the infamous curse
Couldn't get any worse
And LeBron will be taking the Heat.





In the end, LeBron James inflicts needless pain
on the region that raised and loved him
Terry Pluto, The Plain Dealer blog, 7/8/10

More than a game?

Listen Cleveland, there's nothing to fear;
We're convinced that LeBron's staying here.
Consider his attitude;
You're bound to feel gratitude.
He's nothing if not Cavalier.


LeBron James will choose Miami Heat tonight,
according to reports
Brian Windhorst, The Plain Dealer, 7/8/10

Who dat?

We seemed beaten and down on our knees;
Now, redeemed with our team's fleur-de-lis.
Let the hurricanes blow.
In New Orleans we know
That redemption can come on a Brees.

New Orleans turns out to welcome Saints home
By Richard Fausset, Los Angeles Times, 2/9/10

Cleveland Rocks Over Sox Pox

It's the worst kind of curse, all agree.
Who'll be jinxed? We will just have to see.
Whether BoSox or Yanks,
Cleveland fans will give thanks.
The result suits the Tribe to a Tee!

-----The Tee we hope will be

Red Sox fan adds high-jinx to Yankees rivalry
by John Doyle and Chuck Bennett , New York Post, 4/11/08

Blackeyes for Buckeyes

Jim Tressel might say of the Bucks,
"They were honored to play here." Aw Shucks!
But you don't get to choose
You must earn it, or lose,
And losing again really sucks!

Jim Tressel might need to change his ways for Ohio State to get back on top
by Bill Livingston, The Plain Dealer, 1/8/08

A swing...and a miss

The Mitchell Report has me stumped.
You’d think that the sport has been thumped
But it mainly avoids
Facing Baseball v. ‘Roids.
It appears that its import’s been pumped.

Mitchell Report: Some titillation but mostly a whiff
By Art Thiel, Seattle Post Intelligencer, 12/14/07

Record* catch!

Seems Barry is joining the ranks
Of the greats with achievements like Hank's.
If using the 'roids
Automatically voids
His record, this guy still says, "Thanks!"



Record baseball may be worth $1m
BBC News, 8/8/07

Rhyme of the patient Mariner

Seattle seemed seated in clover
When the curve-ball was tossed them by Grover.
It's hard to believe
He would just up and leave.
"When it's over," said Grover, "it's over."

Hargrove still peepless in Seattle
on any other reason for his resignation

Hargrove's integrity shines on
As both player and skipper, dedication mattered most

Hargrove Stuns Mariners, Resigning Amid Success
The New York Times, 7/2/07

Trademark infringement?

San Antonio challenged our fitness,
In Cleveland, to Rise-up^® and Witness^® ;
But expecting LeBron
To take it all on
Is a failure to Take Care of Bitness^®!

Cavs bow out but expectations rise up
By Bud Shaw, The Plain Dealer, 6/15/07

The new standard

In Cleveland we're jumping for joy
Now that Heisman belongs to our boy.
For most of those polled
This Buckeye was gold.
Now, all talents are measured on Troy.

He's Cleveland's man, OSU's man, Heisman
Doug Lesmerises, The Plain Dealer, 12/10/06

In that number?

Forget the political spin.
We don’t care if they lose or they win,
For tonight at the "Dome"
It is all about "home"
When the Saints will go marching back in.

New Orleans Hopes to Make Superdome a Home Again
By Lee Jenkins, The New York Times, 9/25/06

Byron's and Tiger's and Bear's; oh my!

Without any "what ifs" or "shoulds,"
This guy can deliver the goods.
Now that he’s on his game
His opponents seem tame.
Beware; Tiger is out of the woods!

Tiger Finds Way To Exclusive Club
By Michael Wilbon, The Washington Post, 8/21/06

Not so grand slam

What sort of deplorable wonk
Could ignore the performance of Pronk?
His omission, it’s clear,
From the All-Stars this year
Is a Travis-ty. Fans got it wrongk!

Pronk'd: Hafner is overlooked
Indians' DH keeps his sense of humor over All-Star slight
By Phil Rogers, The Chicago Tribune, 7/9/06

What he did for Love - 40

Succeeding at tennis is tricky;
So a parent who isn't too picky
As to how his kids win,
Might commit a small sin
And slip their opponent a Mickey.

Frenchman gets 8 yrs jail for drugging tennis foes
By Jean-Yves Saint-Ceran, Reuters
The Washington Post, 3/9/06

Pointing the way

After Sunday's career eighty-one,
Kobe stunned all his critics, bar none.
"I'm just self-reliant,
Not selfish," says Bryant
"And won't wilt 'til the record's outdone."

With 81 Points, Kobe Crushes Critics
ABC News, 1/23/06

What's Jermaine to Clevelanders

In Cleveland, we stayed up all night
Bemoaning the season that might
Have led to the Series.
Here's one of our theories:
Next year, we must shock the Sox, White.

Chicago's sweeping beauties
Sox win their first Series title since 1917
Paul Hoynes, The Plain Dealer, 10/27/05