"We just don't Obamacare!"

The primaries here lack no drama.

Arch-conservatives swear: "on yo' mama

I am Christian and white

And will serve the far right;

Yadayada and, I'LL FIGHT OBAMA!"

Seems that in November the President plans on standing down from office and moving to Alabama, where he will run for everything from governor to county dog-catcher; or so Republicans running in the primaries here would have you believe. Whether they have a party opponent or not in the primary, there is no discussion of issues or differences; only a game of one-upmanship on who despises the President more. And how our local Public Services Commissioner plans on stopping "ObamaCare" remains a total mystery to the Savant?

Happy Voting today, especially to those of you who live in a place where your vote might actually make a difference.

Saenger Anger

So our loss at the Saenger's a gain?
What's writ on the wall is now plain:
In the new CLA
Robert has it his way.
It's out with the old and in Sain.


NB - The Savant felt it was time to inject a little local venom.

Centre for the Living Arts dismisses Saenger manager Penton
By Lawrence F. Specker, Press-Register, 9/21/11

Rhymes with L'orange

So the World's most notorious geek
Has been caught by obscure double-speak:
Was it sex by consent
When he failed to prevent,
With a condom, his own WikiLeak?


British Judge Denies Bail For WikiLeaks Founder
NPR, 12/7/10

You were there

He needn't rely on some buzz.
He was Cronkite! We watched him because.
When New Media rules
While forgetting the tools,
We'll remember the way that it was.

It seems fitting to honor this man on the anniversary of the moon landing. How can we forget the shared mix of excitement and relief we felt when "Uncle Walter" took off his glasses and said "Whew! Boy!"

Cronkite -- that's the way he was
Colleague Daniel Schorr says that legendary newsman
Walter Cronkite represented something deep
in the psyche of America, embodied in the word trust.
By Daniel Schorr, Los Angeles Times, 7/20/09

Gay Divorcee

Like the drunkard that drove mothers MADD,
Good can often arise from the bad;
Despite all of it's hype
Bruno's stereotype
Is why we're unhappy at GLAAD

'Bruno' doesn't help gays
The movie is intended to satirize homophobia,
but too often it misses the mark.
By Rashad Robinson, Los Angeles Times, 7/12/09

A pilfer of his community

Cuyahoga County Commissioner, Jimmy Dimora

Not to be confused with

deceased fellow huckster, Billy Mays

Have you ever encountered a poorer
Excuse than of Jimmy Dimora?
The conspiracy claim
Is nearly as lame
As Sodom accusing Gomorrah!

Dimora Alleges Republican Conspiracy,
Seeks Federal Investigation
Bill Rice, WCPN, 6/29/09

But wait, there's more

What a week! Along with Michael Jackson's untimely death, Farrah Fawcett earned her angel's wings after a long battle with cancer, and Ed McMahon may team up again with Johnny Carson in the afterlife. But as I think about who had the most profound effect on my life, with his ready-made solutions to all of life's problems, sometimes one's I didn't even know I had...

As I ponder, comparatively,
Who I'll miss to the highest degree;
Amid choice upon choice,
Sounds his singular voice:
"Billy Mays here!" "as seen on TV."

Billy Mays dies at 50; boisterous TV pitchman
By Richard Fausset , Los Angeles Times, 6/29/09

Bad news

The news of his death seemed a killer
Like a 510 lb. gorilla.
In his own Neverland,
Michael seldom was bland;
And we'll likely not see such a thriller.

Michael Jackson's death catches
entertainment journalists unprepared
By Tina Susman, Los Angeles Times, 6/27/09

Not sMART

Have we ever been further apart
Than we are on the Medical Mart?
Its critics have railed
That the County has failed
In transparency right from the start!

Earlier drafts of medical mart deal had
Cuyahoga County paying overruns, kept dealings private
By Joe Guillen, The Plain Dealer, 4/10/09

Depp-lorable acts

The Hollywood vision is narrow.
True crime gives a chill to the marrow.
Real pirates aren't dashing.
Their acts should be smashing
Your image of Captain Jack Sparrow.

Pirates hold captain hostage as U.S. ship sails away
By Edmund Sanders and Julian E. Barnes
The Los Angeles Times, 4/10/09

Star blight

With corruption enough to appall,
The sheriff's not flustered at all.
Which proves that this guy
Can tell the big lie;
And the bigger, the harder McFaul.

A little local news today and a bone to the opposition. I've never been a big fan of Gerald McFaul, a former pipe fitter who has managed to lock up the office of Cuyahoga County Sheriff for over 30 years through old fashioned political clout and plenty of under the table dealings. He's the longest tenured on a list of shady sheriffs in this county and I hope his resignation marks a new era of responsible and respectable law enforcement in the area. But I aint holdin' my breath!

State agents raid McFaul's office, seize records
By Mark Puente, The Plain Dealer, 3/27/09

Octomom vs. Dr. Mindbender

This self-absorbed mother is still
Being run through the media mill?
With all this exposure
We think, Heaven knows, you're
Just giving her ego its Phil.

Suleman says hospital wants proof she can care for octuplets
She tells TV host 'Dr. Phil' McGraw she fears that they
may not be released until she has a better living arrangement.
She and her six other children live at her mother's house
By Jessica Garrison and Kimi Yoshino
The Los Angeles Times, 2/25/09

Heroes by any other name...

would tell us "geese."

Few fumble through life without blame.
Fewer ride their descent into fame.
But this pilot with skill
Has both given a thrill
And new meaning to "Sully" one's name.

Flight 1549: A Routine Takeoff Turns Ugly
Captain Sullenberger Recalls The Bird Strike
And The Tense And Crucial Minutes That Followed
Interview by Katie Couric, CBS 60 Minutes, 2/8/09

Coming soon...

To a theater (of the absurd) near you.

Blagojevich, feeling the sting,
Thinks he's Gandhi, Mandela, and King!
What's next? He'll evoke
Those Middle-earth folk
And be Frodo protecting the Ring?

Blagojevich in NBC interview compares himself
to Gandhi, King and Mandela
By Lynn Sweet, Chicago Sun-Times, 1/25/09

If the shoo fits...

A reporter, expressing his mood,
Made a gesture to Bush that was rude.
Though he took it in jest,
He has been such a pest
It seems fitting, somehow, he got "shoed."

All I can say, after reviewing the video, is "What a lame duck!"

Bush Trip To Iraq Has Sole, Reporter Throws Shoes
Morining Edition, NPR, 12/15/08

World domination?

Well, not exactly.


A day I don’t listen is rare
So today didn’t seem very fair.
Just the luck Limerick has!
While Scott Brick reads White Jazz,
Marco Werman reads me on the air!

Figuring on cruel Clevetown commute this snowy evening. The Savant pops "White Jazz" CD into the mobile music box. Ellroy on a silver platter. To soothe jangled nerves. Typically Mullins and Werman and Bell ride shotgun. Better than a police scanner for taking the pulse of this crazy world.

Not tonight. Tonight it’s Scott "Solid As A" Brick. He’s laying down the staccato rhythms of L.A. dicks and hot chicks. Cool. Gritty. Solid as his name. "Lay it on me, Scottie boy. Lay. It. On."

Suddenly Ellroy's sweet beat is cut short. That familiar cellular buzz. It's Rene. What does she want? "Hello?"

"He's reading you!"

"Wha?'

"Marco. He's reading your limerick! On the radio."

"Shit!"

It's too late. Fingers fumble. Can't switch modes in time. He's gone! "Yeah, I…"

"I'm so excited!" She cuts me off, excited. "I was checking a kiln and I think I hear 'Limerick Savant.' It's Marco Werman on the radio. And then he repeats 'Limerick Savant' and he's reading your limerick! Right there on 'The World!' I couldn't believe it!"

"I sent them an email. I was listening yesterday. You know, the 'Global Hit.' They had on this violinist. Lisa Mullins interviewing this controversial guy. He's like a virtuoso. Plays like Mozart. But he does the cadenzas like 'Turkey in the Straw.' Or Bluegrass. Or Jazz. Whistling. But still Mozart. You know. Still his style. Notes. Gilles Apap. That's his name. So I compose this limerick while I'm driving home. And I send it to them. I do that sometimes. When a story inspires me on NPR I send them the limerick. They never even write back. This time it was PRI. I didn't expect anything. Remember? I sent them that one when they did their April Fools story. The 'exploding maples' story. They totally got me with that one! I thought my limerick was pretty clever. They never answered. But I'm usually listening. Not today. I can't believe it! Of all the times. I think, 'I'll listen to that book from the library.' The James Ellroy. What bitter irony!"

"Well maybe they record it. Can you get it online?"

"That's it! Thanks, doll. Sure. That's where I linked to that Frenchy fiddler story. I'm saved."

"You should write a limerick about THIS."

"Huh?"

"You know. The whole 'missing it' thing."

"Yeah. Sure, babe."

So our savvy Savant is saved. Thanks to miracles of modern tech. He's got the whole story. Downloaded. On mp3. Suitable for play on his iPod. Where he can listen to Marco reciting his limerick over and over. That smooth cool voice. Selected and looped. Deleting the unneeded. A Global Hit. At least in his own mind.

And remember. You heard it here first. Off the record. On the Q.T. And very hush hush.



Beth Rowley PRI's The World
By Marco Werman, The World's Global Hit, 11/21/08
Posted using ShareThis

The Wright stuff?

Barack's pastor (who's no Dr. King)
Has been adding more mud to the sling;
But each new Jeremiad
Doesn't mean they're a dyad
Nor Obama will do the Wright thing.

Excuse me but when are the media going to start asking tough questions about the issues and quit focusing on the politics of personality and guilt by association? I'm tired of hearing about the Wright stuff! I care about who has the right stuff!

Where Wright Goes Wrong
By Eugene Robinson, The Washington Post, 4/29/08

Cleveland Rocks Over Sox Pox

It's the worst kind of curse, all agree.
Who'll be jinxed? We will just have to see.
Whether BoSox or Yanks,
Cleveland fans will give thanks.
The result suits the Tribe to a Tee!

-----The Tee we hope will be

Red Sox fan adds high-jinx to Yankees rivalry
by John Doyle and Chuck Bennett , New York Post, 4/11/08

Who needs a presidency?

You have watched as her empire has grown.
Now, a network that's hers all alone?
For serious bettors,
You know the call letters
Mean there's nothing that O. won't soon...

Oprah Winfrey and Discovery to Create New Cable Network
By Edward Wyatt, The New York Times, 1/16/08

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

Are you staging a comeback, like Bill,
Showing more than political skill?
Being human, it seems,
Is the greatest of schemes
For raising your capital, Hil.

Clinton's Historic Surprise
Political prediction markets,
polls and pundits may never have got it so wrong
By Justin Wolfers, The Wall Street Journal, 1/9/08