The few; the proud; the...

Openly gay service members.

They are patriots, serving us well.
So, why is this such a hard sell?
It's the generals' task
To ensure, if we ask,
It's, "You're gay and you're proud? Well, do tell!"

Thanks to Mike for getting the Savant thinking about an appropriate response to this issue.

Colin Powell now says gays should be able to serve openly in military
By Karen DeYoung, The Washington Post, 2/4/10

"Less filling!" "Tastes great!!" "Less filling!!!" Tastes great!!!!"

The Savant proposes the following simple test to be administered to prospective candidates for the police academy; Harvard professorships; and President of the United States. [N.B. This should not apply to candidates for the Vice-Presidency, so Sarah and Joe can quit sweating. After all we still need some entertainment.]

Fill in the blank:

A rule of diplomacy states:
When engaging in ________ debates,
You better use tact.
If you overreact,
You are certain to open flood Gates.

Choose the best answer:

a. legal
b. racial
c. ethnic
d. classroom
e. White House
f. press corp
g. heated
h. beer-fueled
i. all of the above

The Audacity of Hops
By Jake Tapper, ABC News, 7/30/09

My name is Mel and I’m an __________

a. Actor
b. Alcoholic
c. Angry a*hole
d. Anti-Semite
e. All of the above

In ever cynical Hollywood, the response to Mr. Gibson’s latest embarrassment was something less than outrage. One imagines the memo from his agent:

Stop drinking! I’m telling you, Mel.
You know we have movies to sell.
When acting the critic,
Who’s anti-Semitic,
Your Passion has not served you well.

Gibson Arrest Probe Centers on Why Information Was Withheld
Civilian watchdog is investigating whether the actor got special treatment.
After the star was booked, a deputy drove him to his car.
By Richard Winton, Andrew Blankstein and Megan Garvey,
The Los Angeles Times, 8/2/06

Goes together like a horse and...

It is hard for us not to disparage
Bush's latest and greatest miscarriage.
Though he hasn't done jack
About drugs or Iraq,
He is launching the war against marriage.

I know that my critics may say
That the ban is against being gay;
And, yes, that is true,
But only if you
Think a family's created one way.

A prize to the first one who guesses the remainder of my title.
Hint: It is also what the Savant thinks of this proposed constitutional amendment.

Distracter in Chief
Spinning Phony Crises to Avoid Real Ones
By Eugene Robinson, The Washington Post, 6/6/06

Finding solace in the solstice

This concern over greetings is rot!
Will my wishes be P.C. or not?
After weighing the trends,
I'll seek equal offense
And express them so "X" marks the spot.

Merry Xmas
Peace on earth
Good will toward men all

Church groups confront Wal-Mart for dropping Christmas message
By Tom Chorneau, San Jose Mercury News, 12/17/05
[And there are so many better reasons to attack Wal-Mart!]

A message from the sisters at

Gamma Gamma Chi

It's OK if you're wondering why
Would a Muslim sorority try
To open on campus,
But please do not stamp us
"The Sweethearts of al-Qaida Chi."

For Muslims seeking sisterhood, fledgling sorority may be answer
By Jenny Jarvie, Los Angeles Times, 12/11/05