More tortuous rhetoric

Mr. Cheney's the spokesman we'd pick
Claiming "charges of torture won't stick."
Some think it a goof.
We say it's the proof
That conservatives didn't know Dick!

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The Old Faithful of Nonsense
By Eugene Robinson, The Washington Post, 5/12/09

More favorite things

Imagine, if you will, a bird’s-eye view of the mountains of Tora Bora in Afghanistan. The camera swoops down in a long, slow zoom, zeroing in on Mr. Bush atop one of the peaks. As the orchestra swells, we see him dancing and singing but with a quizzical look that says, "Where is all this music coming from?"

Fast forward to the Oval Office. We see the president sitting with little Katie Couric, assuring her that she will be the best anchor since Walter Cronkite if only she remains the polite, good girl and forgets about follow-up questions. Flush with embarrassment over the compliment, Katie timidly asks, "Do you wish that your administration had handled detainees and sort of the rules and - and the guidelines for the treatment of these - detainees differently?"

Bush reaches behind a brocade-trimmed curtain, pulls out a spruce-top guitar, and launches into this rendition (excuse the pun) of the Rodgers and Hammerstein favorite.

Click for the music

Black hoods on Muslims or just waterboarding
Blasting their ears with Black Sabbath recordings
Making them jump like a puppet on strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Prisoners stripped naked and in solitary
Making them shave even when they are hairy
Upping the shocks just a couple of joules
These are a few of my favorite tools

Flush Korans down
In the toilet
That’s how we stop a plot
Please don’t restrict us or then you will spoil it
And it’s really all that we’ve got.

Good cop and bad cop and sleep deprivation
Rapid-fire questions and forced isolation
CIA prisons kept hidden from view
These are some things that we still plan to do

Black hoods on Muslims or just waterboarding
Blasting their ears with Black Sabbath recordings
Making them jump like a puppet on strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Threaten dog bites
Executions
Make them stand and stand
I’ll simply remember these former solutions
And then I will feel quite grand

Bush Vows to Use All Anti-Terror Tools
President Bush Vows to Use All Tools Available
to Fight Terrorists Determined to Attack U.S.
By Jennifer Loven, ABC News, 9/7/06

Bush's favorite things

What King George really said

No more boarding in icy-cold pools
Nor zapping the family jewels?
We were winning the game;
If we don’t, now, I blame
It on having to play by the rules.

Bush: Secret CIA Prisons a 'Vital' Tool
Bush Admits CIA Runs Secret Prisons Overseas,
Says Interrogations Made Terrorists Reveal Plots
By Deb Riechmann, ABC News, 9/7/06

My "L" word is Laughter

My views on the news that apply
Are to laugh long and hard, lest you cry.
This NeoCon climate
Makes clear what a crime it’s
Sans humor in Liberal supply.

Carnival of the Liberals #19: The Parody Poetry Edition
One Flew East, 8/15/06

No one expects the CIA!

The appointment of General Hayden
Might seem like it's heavily laden.
When you take the position
To expect Inquisition,
What's the diff between rack and Iron Maiden?



And now for something completely different...

Hayden Nominated to Head CIA
By Dafna Linzer and Fred Barbash
The Washington Post, 5/8/06

Guess we knew how to quit you?

Any stories of torture or shock
That the prisoners report from the block?
We're tellin' you, babe,
It ain't us! Abu Ghraib
Now belongs to our friends in Iraq.

U.S. to Hand Over Notorious Prison to Iraq
The Guardian, 3/9/06

Swiss miss

Dick Marty has advanced the suspicion
That the EU condoned inquisition.
It's the same tortured song
That we've heard far too long
And we still do not like the rendition.

Report accuses US of 'outsourcing' torture
By Philippe Naughton, Times Online, 1/24/06

Hear Yee, Hear Yee!

Though they voice a more tolerant tone,
Anti-Islam abuses have grown.
Wonder how that could be?
You must read Captain Yee
And you'll see how they act toward their own.

"I was sure that I was being imprisoned in large part because I had fought so hard to ensure the detainees at Guantánamo were given the things they needed to practice their religion, yet here I was being denied those things myself."
-James Yee, For God and Country: Faith and Patriotism Under Fire, 2005

Chaplain cites anti-Islam zeal
By Carol Rosenberg, The Miami Herald, 10/7/05

Earning their "Honorable" title

The country can count on McCain
To act as the president's bane.
Who better to know
How to deal with a foe
By making the torture humane?

Senate Supports Interrogation Limits
90-9 Vote on the Treatment of Detainees
Is a Bipartisan Rebuff of the White House
By Charles Babington and Shailagh Murray
Washington Post, 10/6/05