More favorite things

Imagine, if you will, a bird’s-eye view of the mountains of Tora Bora in Afghanistan. The camera swoops down in a long, slow zoom, zeroing in on Mr. Bush atop one of the peaks. As the orchestra swells, we see him dancing and singing but with a quizzical look that says, "Where is all this music coming from?"

Fast forward to the Oval Office. We see the president sitting with little Katie Couric, assuring her that she will be the best anchor since Walter Cronkite if only she remains the polite, good girl and forgets about follow-up questions. Flush with embarrassment over the compliment, Katie timidly asks, "Do you wish that your administration had handled detainees and sort of the rules and - and the guidelines for the treatment of these - detainees differently?"

Bush reaches behind a brocade-trimmed curtain, pulls out a spruce-top guitar, and launches into this rendition (excuse the pun) of the Rodgers and Hammerstein favorite.

Click for the music

Black hoods on Muslims or just waterboarding
Blasting their ears with Black Sabbath recordings
Making them jump like a puppet on strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Prisoners stripped naked and in solitary
Making them shave even when they are hairy
Upping the shocks just a couple of joules
These are a few of my favorite tools

Flush Korans down
In the toilet
That’s how we stop a plot
Please don’t restrict us or then you will spoil it
And it’s really all that we’ve got.

Good cop and bad cop and sleep deprivation
Rapid-fire questions and forced isolation
CIA prisons kept hidden from view
These are some things that we still plan to do

Black hoods on Muslims or just waterboarding
Blasting their ears with Black Sabbath recordings
Making them jump like a puppet on strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Threaten dog bites
Executions
Make them stand and stand
I’ll simply remember these former solutions
And then I will feel quite grand

Bush Vows to Use All Anti-Terror Tools
President Bush Vows to Use All Tools Available
to Fight Terrorists Determined to Attack U.S.
By Jennifer Loven, ABC News, 9/7/06