For the sake of argument

A Resonable Man

The Savant has been wondering what would have happened had the current case before the Supreme Court been argued before the renowned jurist, Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.:

Though Justice Scalia posed cockily

"Can we mandate that people buy broccoli?"

His question's absurd.

Even if you're insured,

You don't have to go to the doc, Ollie!

Yes, the Savant has stretched things a bit for the sake of a rhyme, but Scalia stretches reason with his ridiculous proposition. And what's the man's beef with broccoli? Maybe if he ate a few more vegetables it would clear up his fuzzy logic?

Judging the Health Care Law

NPR, 3/27/12

Reconciled to reform

No more wellness dependent on wealth
Or insurance retracted by stealth.
Despite GOP jeers,
The Savant replies, "Cheers!
Here's to Congress and here's to your health."

For Consumers, Clarity on Health Care Changes
By Tara Siegel Bernard, The New York Times, 3/21/10

Body of lies

Thanks to Mattel (and Hugh Hefner) for
fifty years of unrealistic expectations.

What psychic could possibly gauge
How this freak would become all the rage?
With plenty of plastic
She's looking fantastic
So Barbie's not telling her age.

Barbie doll gets a splashy 50th birthday bash
By Booth Moore, The Los Angeles Times, 2/17/09

No Jif's brands or butters

All because of this arrogant putz
Salmonella's infecting our guts.
It sticks in the craw
And we hope that the law
Strings him up by his poisonous nuts.

Peanut-borne salmonella is subject of outrage in Congress
By Rebecca Cole, The Los Angeles Times, 2/12/09

Playing Crazy Eights with ethics

Fertility drugs are a fix,
Not a means for this mom to get kicks.
Were her docs in a trance?
When it comes to implants,
Don't they think that "enough" might mean six?

Octuplets Fallout:
Should Fertility Specialists Set Limits?
By Bonnie Rochman, Time, 2/2/09

A Public Service Announcement

from the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health

At POPLINE, someone on our staff
Must believe they're a gifted empath.
Intent was distorted,
So searches aborted
And babies thrown out with the bath.

Magazine Led to Database's 'Abortion' Search Block
by Brenda Wilson, NPR, 4/9/08

Dora the Destroyer?

Fisher-Price could be losing its shirt
Over marketing toys that can hurt.
Now, Transformers I get
As a possible threat,
But "the terror of Ernie and Bert?"

At Toy Stores, Recall Casts Doubt on Trusted Friends
By Donna St. George and Delphine Schrank
The Washington Post, 8/3/07

When Big Bird has lost his Street cred
What else is there left to be said?
Has Mattel, in its greed,
Just forgotten the need
To ensure that they haven't missed lead?

Lead Paint Prompts Mattel to Recall 967,000 Toys
By Louise Story, The New York Times, 8/2/07

A feline for those in need

Not intending to be, at all, witty,
I suggest that it's really a pity
That we can't get Osama
To finish the drama
And curl up tonight with this kitty!

Reports of an Italian director's ten minute You Tube of Oscar, just staring; or accounts of the cat's recent chess match with a Swedish auteur appear to be greatly exaggerated.

Does Feline Have a Feeling That Death Is Near?
NPR Morning Edition, 7/26/07

Food for thought?

So you eat 'til your stomach distends?
Who's at fault? Well, I guess that depends.
There's no need that you cease
Just because you're obese.
Place the blame on your overweight friends!

Obesity Spreads In Social Circles As Trends Do, Study Indicates
By Rob Stein, The Washington Post, 7/26/07

Quit blowing smoke!

To cigarette industry folk
Who’d let all the rest of us choke
While claiming “no harm:”
D’ya hear that alarm?
Your argument’s gone up in smoke!

Secondhand smoke debate 'over'
By Liz Szabo, USA TODAY, 6/27/06

Berry worried

Before you start ranting and raving
Over BlackBerry's patent suit caving:
The likely injunction
May cause some dysfunction
But think of the thumbs they'll be saving!

BlackBerry blackout could be costly
By Grace Wong, CNN, 1/24/06

Winner by a nose

Cleveland Clinic was setting the pace
In this cutting edge surgical race.
But then France finished first,
And our surgeons are cursed
With the question of how to save face.

French perform partial face transplant
Cleveland Clinic still plans full procedure
Harlan Spector, The Plain Dealer, 12/1/05

Painful remedy

As multiple Vioxx suits lurk,
7,000 are now out of work.
After pulling the plug,
The once promising drug
Will, forever, be mired in this Merck.

Merck to Cut 7,000 Jobs, Close Plants
By Jim Zarroli, All Things Considered
NPR, 11/28/05

Flippin' the bird flu

If Bush worries 'bout citizens dying,
There's a cure he can find without trying:
Just bring the troops back
From his war in Iraq
And stop the pandemic of lying.

Bush Announces Plan to Prepare for Flu Epidemic
By Gardiner Harris, New York Times, 11/2/05