Wats-on TV tonight?

We see jeopardy in the concession
To A.I. in its latest accession.
"This outsmarter of men,
Unlike Brad nor like Ken,
has a name in the form of a question."

Computer Wins on ‘Jeopardy!’: Trivial, It’s Not
By John Markoff, The New York Times, 2/16/11

He made us Witness this?

All at once, without skipping a beat
Cleveland suffers its latest defeat.
Now the infamous curse
Couldn't get any worse
And LeBron will be taking the Heat.





In the end, LeBron James inflicts needless pain
on the region that raised and loved him
Terry Pluto, The Plain Dealer blog, 7/8/10

You were there

He needn't rely on some buzz.
He was Cronkite! We watched him because.
When New Media rules
While forgetting the tools,
We'll remember the way that it was.

It seems fitting to honor this man on the anniversary of the moon landing. How can we forget the shared mix of excitement and relief we felt when "Uncle Walter" took off his glasses and said "Whew! Boy!"

Cronkite -- that's the way he was
Colleague Daniel Schorr says that legendary newsman
Walter Cronkite represented something deep
in the psyche of America, embodied in the word trust.
By Daniel Schorr, Los Angeles Times, 7/20/09

But wait, there's more

What a week! Along with Michael Jackson's untimely death, Farrah Fawcett earned her angel's wings after a long battle with cancer, and Ed McMahon may team up again with Johnny Carson in the afterlife. But as I think about who had the most profound effect on my life, with his ready-made solutions to all of life's problems, sometimes one's I didn't even know I had...

As I ponder, comparatively,
Who I'll miss to the highest degree;
Amid choice upon choice,
Sounds his singular voice:
"Billy Mays here!" "as seen on TV."

Billy Mays dies at 50; boisterous TV pitchman
By Richard Fausset , Los Angeles Times, 6/29/09

Bad news

The news of his death seemed a killer
Like a 510 lb. gorilla.
In his own Neverland,
Michael seldom was bland;
And we'll likely not see such a thriller.

Michael Jackson's death catches
entertainment journalists unprepared
By Tina Susman, Los Angeles Times, 6/27/09

Octomom vs. Dr. Mindbender

This self-absorbed mother is still
Being run through the media mill?
With all this exposure
We think, Heaven knows, you're
Just giving her ego its Phil.

Suleman says hospital wants proof she can care for octuplets
She tells TV host 'Dr. Phil' McGraw she fears that they
may not be released until she has a better living arrangement.
She and her six other children live at her mother's house
By Jessica Garrison and Kimi Yoshino
The Los Angeles Times, 2/25/09

Who wants to be a m...

Movie of the Year?

We endure what seems endless and numbing
Just to view what we knew would be coming.
The predictable plot?
When you're hot, you are hot;
And Oscar was hot to go Slumming.

Golden Statuettes, Leaden Television
By Tom Shales, The Washington Post, 2/23/09

Heroes by any other name...

would tell us "geese."

Few fumble through life without blame.
Fewer ride their descent into fame.
But this pilot with skill
Has both given a thrill
And new meaning to "Sully" one's name.

Flight 1549: A Routine Takeoff Turns Ugly
Captain Sullenberger Recalls The Bird Strike
And The Tense And Crucial Minutes That Followed
Interview by Katie Couric, CBS 60 Minutes, 2/8/09

As my old pappy use to say...

"A lie can travel halfway around the world
while the truth is still putting on it's shoes."
---(sometimes attributed to Mark Twain)

No limericks today; just a song to be sung to the tune of the
Maverick Theme music by David Buttolph and lyrics by Paul Francis Webster


Who is that gray-haired, stodgy guy?
Maverick is the name.
They call him that, we don't know why,
Palin's his compadre,
Politics his game.

Slick as a lobby in D.C.
Maverick, John McCain.
Out of touch with you and me;
Part of Bush's cadre.
How is that a change?

Riverboat, blow off steam,
Don't buy into their scheme!
Liberty's the lady they will test!

From Natchez to Duluth
It's time to tell the truth
This "maverick's" the same as all the rest.

His campaign's blowin' smoke,
The concept is a joke!
He's claiming change; oh, surely he must jest!

From Natchez to Duluth
It's time to tell the truth
A maverick is no maverick, self-professed,
And John McCain's no maverick, hope you guessed.

For those of us who remember the 60's TV series, the "original Maverick" was James Garner (no, not Tom Cruise!) and there's no contest when it comes to who we'd rather be swindled by. So, when you get ready to vote this year, remember what my old pappy used to say,
"Always drink upstream from the herd."

McCain relies on his image, avoids issues
By Cynthia Tucker
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 9/7/08

The seX Files

An addiction (not mastered) abated
By going to rehab. So stated
Duchovny to Press.
Can it be a success
As long as his Files are X-rated?

[this one should be good for lots of hits on the search engines]

Duchovny: Sex Addict Onscreen and Off
By Luchina Fisher, ABC News, 8/29/08

Who needs a presidency?

You have watched as her empire has grown.
Now, a network that's hers all alone?
For serious bettors,
You know the call letters
Mean there's nothing that O. won't soon...

Oprah Winfrey and Discovery to Create New Cable Network
By Edward Wyatt, The New York Times, 1/16/08

Dora the Destroyer?

Fisher-Price could be losing its shirt
Over marketing toys that can hurt.
Now, Transformers I get
As a possible threat,
But "the terror of Ernie and Bert?"

At Toy Stores, Recall Casts Doubt on Trusted Friends
By Donna St. George and Delphine Schrank
The Washington Post, 8/3/07

When Big Bird has lost his Street cred
What else is there left to be said?
Has Mattel, in its greed,
Just forgotten the need
To ensure that they haven't missed lead?

Lead Paint Prompts Mattel to Recall 967,000 Toys
By Louise Story, The New York Times, 8/2/07

The Maines event

Down in Dixie, they’ve taken their licks
But they broadened their base in ’06.
Now the band’s been redeemed
This week, so it seemed,
When the Grammy’s made nice with the Chicks.

Grammy Sweep by Dixie Chicks Is Seen as a Vindication
By Jeff Leeds, The New York Time, 2/13/07

If the show fits

Time this running back fully admitted
To the secret of just how he did it.
For those stunned by his act
There's no doubting, in fact,
Emmitt Smith, himself, deftly acquitted.

Any resemblance to any other former running back in the news
is purely intentional but does not merit further comment.

Emmitt Smith Wins ABC's 'Dancing' Title
By Erin Carlson, Associated Press Writer
The Chicago Tribune, 11/16/06

Cheers or al-Jazeers?

Do we really have reason to fear a
One-sided, unfair al-Jazeera?
Will their English report
Only tend to distort,
Or a new point of view draw us nearer?



Slick al-Jazeera aims to surprise
By Torin Douglas, BBC News, 11/15/06

Chef's return: a dish served cold

He who shafts last, shafts best

Is it tasteful, not even a smidgen,
Using faith like a comic clay pigeon?
We applaud Isaac Hayes
For amending his ways
In defense of his crackpot religion!

Speaking of pigeons, see the Savant's take on another controversy over humor v. religion.

A 'South Park' Character's Return Becomes an Opportunity for Revenge
By Alessandra Stanley, The New York Times, 3/24/06

Ratings plummet for the West Wing?

With strategic security theories
Reasserted by Bush, patience wearies.
Even sponsors are tempted
That he be preempted.
Better yet, why not cancel the series!

Bush to Restate Terror Strategy
2002 Doctrine of Preemptive War To Be Reaffirmed
By Peter Baker, Washington Post, 3/16/06

Brokeback President

A State of the Union synopsis

Yes, the war isn't o'er and I spy.
Give my right-wing agenda a try.
Despite the brickbats,
I can woo Democrats
If we're partisan, can't we be bi?

Bush Speech to Congress Offers Few New Proposals
NPR, 2/1/06

A Russell of Fall leaves

It makes the Savant a bit tipsy
To recall all the comical quips he
Delivered in rhyme.
A man of his time;
There's a chill in the air without Nipsey.

"The opposite of pro is con
that fact is clearly seen
if progress means move forward
then what does Congress mean?"
- Nipsey Russell

Rhyming Funnyman Nipsey Russell Dies
By Joe Holley, Washington Post, 10/4/05