Hopeless Cause?

Mr. Trump, there’s no reason to mope.

We are sure you’ll be able to cope.

For, despite our worst fear,

Since early last year,

We have all learned to live without Hope.

Yeah, the Savant knows this one was way too easy but he still could not resist. After all, since Jan. 20, 2017, aren't we all a little resigned?

Stars, Felon, Alabama

Though he’d claimed to be greatly maligned

The stars over Bama aligned

And Governor Bentley

Has, not incidentally,

Accepted his fate and resigned.

BTW, if you are looking for a new drinking game, then try a shot of your favorite spirits every time you hear Bentley invoke a supreme being in this video of last week's denial. A guaranteed buzz before it is over.

Mr. President, give it a rest!

Mr. Trump, are you thinking, perhaps,

The American public are saps?

What you claim to be knowing

Is just your wind blowing

And the blowing keeps sounding like “Taps!”

Yow! Are we having fun yet?

No question, ’twas destined he’d win it.

As Phineas Barnum might spin it:

In the coming world order,

A new Trump supporter

Is bound to be born ev’ry minute.

Yes, just like you, the Savant is still reeling from what occurred last November and he doesn't mean Thanksgiving with your crazy family. Having had several months to digest the news of what is likely the worst event of his life with the exception of the Lincoln assassination, (No, he wasn't there but his good friend Fred Douglass told him about it) he feels that true to his motto he has no option but to return from semi-retirement. 

During that hiatus from his doggerel and while seeing if his dog'll roll, sit, or beg with the proper incentive; he was lulled by the knowledge that after all, even though there were continuing tensions at home and abroad over race, religion, nativism, gender, and income inequality, we did elect the first black president, twice!

So how did we screw this one up so badly? Well, despite Mr. Trump's obsession with so-called "voter fraud," the only fraud perpetrated on the American people was one that they bought into willingly or through their own complacence. We have allowed ourselves to be hoodwinked by a carnival barker, a consummate showman, who has been peddling his circus act for years. While some of us have remained outside the tent, laughing at the absurd claims and preposterous boasts but mildly entertained, we have ignored the line of paying customers scrabbling to be included under the Trump Big Top. By making vague, even contradictory, statements about what he can do for us ("Make America Great Again") and at the same time playing to our worst fears ("rapists, murderers") he makes us feel understood, appreciated, and part of something bigger and life changing.

No, it wasn't Russian hackers, Putin, James Comey, or Hillary haters that turned this election. It was our own gullibility and credulity and until we take responsibility for the outcome we will be powerless to do anything about it.

Pinheads are everywhere

Equal time

The Savant received the following anonymous response that he cannot confirm as legitmate and may have come from one of those "fake" Sarah Palins that seem to have taken over the web world. He publishes it with the proviso that, like everything "Sarah Palin" these days, it should be taken with a grain of salt.

How dare you imply I'm a quitter!
I have reason enough to fell bitter.
If you'd been as maligned,
You might have resigned
In order to find a good sitter.

A pilfer of his community

Cuyahoga County Commissioner, Jimmy Dimora

Not to be confused with

deceased fellow huckster, Billy Mays

Have you ever encountered a poorer
Excuse than of Jimmy Dimora?
The conspiracy claim
Is nearly as lame
As Sodom accusing Gomorrah!

Dimora Alleges Republican Conspiracy,
Seeks Federal Investigation
Bill Rice, WCPN, 6/29/09

Body of lies

Thanks to Mattel (and Hugh Hefner) for
fifty years of unrealistic expectations.

What psychic could possibly gauge
How this freak would become all the rage?
With plenty of plastic
She's looking fantastic
So Barbie's not telling her age.

Barbie doll gets a splashy 50th birthday bash
By Booth Moore, The Los Angeles Times, 2/17/09

Hawk like an Egyptian?

Speaking of "bail-outs," look who's out on bail.

His investors aren't feeling so sunny
To discover the tar in the honey.
The deals of their dreams
Were mere pyramid schemes
Where the dealer Madoff with the money!

[N.B. The unfortunate fact is that you or I may be one of his unwitting investors by proxy!]

Bernie Madoff's Victims:
Why Some Have No Recourse
By Robert Chew, Time, 1/12/09

Bringing Nome the bacon?

Quite frankly we don't give a fig
About Palin's distress at "the dig,"
For it cannot compete
With her blatant deceit.
As she gussies up pork, save the pig!

And to all those who would call Obama sexist for using the lipstick/pig metaphor, keep in mind that McCain has used the same phrase before and it seems to be Dick Cheney's favorite analogy. Maybe the McCain camp should read the book by his former advisor, Torie Clarke, Lipstick on a Pig, in which she suggests that honesty, not spin, is the best policy in politics or business. How's that one for irony? Or maybe they've been reading Mein Kampf?
"Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it" --- Adolph Hitler

Record Contradicts Palin's 'Bridge' Claims
By Elizabeth Holmes and Laura Meckler
The Wall Street Journal, 9/9/08

As my old pappy use to say...

"A lie can travel halfway around the world
while the truth is still putting on it's shoes."
---(sometimes attributed to Mark Twain)

No limericks today; just a song to be sung to the tune of the
Maverick Theme music by David Buttolph and lyrics by Paul Francis Webster


Who is that gray-haired, stodgy guy?
Maverick is the name.
They call him that, we don't know why,
Palin's his compadre,
Politics his game.

Slick as a lobby in D.C.
Maverick, John McCain.
Out of touch with you and me;
Part of Bush's cadre.
How is that a change?

Riverboat, blow off steam,
Don't buy into their scheme!
Liberty's the lady they will test!

From Natchez to Duluth
It's time to tell the truth
This "maverick's" the same as all the rest.

His campaign's blowin' smoke,
The concept is a joke!
He's claiming change; oh, surely he must jest!

From Natchez to Duluth
It's time to tell the truth
A maverick is no maverick, self-professed,
And John McCain's no maverick, hope you guessed.

For those of us who remember the 60's TV series, the "original Maverick" was James Garner (no, not Tom Cruise!) and there's no contest when it comes to who we'd rather be swindled by. So, when you get ready to vote this year, remember what my old pappy used to say,
"Always drink upstream from the herd."

McCain relies on his image, avoids issues
By Cynthia Tucker
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, 9/7/08

4K? Not OK!

It’s exactly five years, 1st of May,
I recall hearing Dubbaya say
That our mission was done
With the war shortly won.
Now we’re mourning the loss of 4K.

So it isn’t the billions we pay,
Lack of victory, or the delay;
But the breach of our trust.
When a war is unjust
Even one death is never OK.

U.S. toll in Iraq reaches 4,000
By Alexandra Zavis, Los Angeles Times, 3/24/08

A swing...and a miss

The Mitchell Report has me stumped.
You’d think that the sport has been thumped
But it mainly avoids
Facing Baseball v. ‘Roids.
It appears that its import’s been pumped.

Mitchell Report: Some titillation but mostly a whiff
By Art Thiel, Seattle Post Intelligencer, 12/14/07

Faulty intelligence?

His plan in Iran has a crimp
And his war in Iraq, he can't pimp.
Has Science now shown
What we always have known?
Can Bush be replaced by a chimp?




Chimps Exhibit Superior Memory, Outshining Humans
By Henry Fountain, The New York Times, 12/4/07

Won't get fooled again!

Presidential address preview

As his surge simply slows to a crawl,
Mr. Bush has learned nothing at all.
With his words rearranged,
His solution's unchanged:
He just says "military," with drawl!

Limited Pullout Is Middle Way on Iraq, Bush Will Say
By Sheryl Gay Stolberg and Steven Lee Myers
The New York Times, 9/13/07

If I Ignored It...

would it go away?

Though the Goldmans deserve every credit
If they publish his book (with their edit,)
If I Did It 's a joke
Like no fire where there's smoke.
Would I learn something new, if I read it?

Victims’ families feud over O.J.’s ‘If I Did It’ book
Denise Brown accuses Goldmans of “commercializing blood money”
By Mike Celizic, NBC, The TODAY Show, 8/15/07

Record* catch!

Seems Barry is joining the ranks
Of the greats with achievements like Hank's.
If using the 'roids
Automatically voids
His record, this guy still says, "Thanks!"



Record baseball may be worth $1m
BBC News, 8/8/07

Land of Libberty?

Even sans Bush's chosen commute,
We were still on a treacherous route.
Our country's been mugged
By political thugs
And the thieves have escaped with the loot!

WASHINGTON - President Bush spared former White House aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby from a 2 1/2-year prison term on Monday, issuing an order that commutes his sentence

read more | digg story

Soft on Crime
Editorial, The New York Times, 7/3/07

Freyed Oprah tears into "Pieces"

Who'd ya think you were fooling, ya dope ya,
By treating the truth as a trope! The
Real price, Mr. Frey,
To be paid for your lie,
Is the fact there's no messing with Oprah.

Now, if she'd only take on Bush!

Live on 'Oprah,' a Memoirist Is Kicked Out of the Book Club
By Edward Wyatt, The New York Times, 1/27/06

Playing the Blame Game

Plenty to go around

Yes, Democrats cannot deny
That they looked on this war with an "aye;"
But the blame we assign
For their sheer lack of spine
Doesn't give Mr. Bush a free bye.

Mr. Bush, you were quick to decry
Those who said that you led us awry;
But, for all your derision,
A lie of omission
Is, nevertheless, still a lie.

Pre-Iraq War Intelligence: A Look at the Facts
By Don Gonyea and Jackie Northam,
NPR Morning Edition, 11/23/05

Think of it as a harmonic convergence of sorts
By Molly Ivins, Creators Syndicate
Star Telegram, 11/23/05

Iraq: What Did Congress Know, And When?
Annenberg Political Fact Check, 11/19/05

Awaiting indictments

Oh, what a tangled web they wove,
Who practised tactics with Karl Rove.

[With apologies to Sir Walter Scott]

Rove, Libby Prepare for Possible Indictments
By Jim VandeHei and Carol D. Leonnig
Washington Post, 10/28/05