Wats-on TV tonight?

We see jeopardy in the concession
To A.I. in its latest accession.
"This outsmarter of men,
Unlike Brad nor like Ken,
has a name in the form of a question."

Computer Wins on ‘Jeopardy!’: Trivial, It’s Not
By John Markoff, The New York Times, 2/16/11

Maya Ingénue?

Is the doomsday prediction unfailin'
Or the year 2012 easy sailin'?
A potential world-ender
Not on the agenda:
Could the Mayans foresee Sarah Palin?

Sarah Palin vs. Barack Obama:

The approval gap silently shrinks to a few points

The real Travis-ty

For the people unwisely beguiled
By the notion a chimp is a child,
It's time to replace it.
You really must face it;
This primate's primarily wild!

Cleveland Clinic Gets Victim of Chimp Attack
By Lawrence K. Altman and Anahad O'Connor
The New York Times, 2/19/09

Playing Crazy Eights with ethics

Fertility drugs are a fix,
Not a means for this mom to get kicks.
Were her docs in a trance?
When it comes to implants,
Don't they think that "enough" might mean six?

Octuplets Fallout:
Should Fertility Specialists Set Limits?
By Bonnie Rochman, Time, 2/2/09

Recycle this limerick

Then give your computer a rest

Every breath you have taken since birth
Is the price conservation is worth.
We must stop the abuse
In our energy use
Or someday we will pay with the Earth.

Happy Earth Day
Reduce you carbon footprint today by actually making some footprints. If you live in PA, try walking to the polls to vote for the environmentally friendly candidate of your choice.

[N.B.: This limerick was composed totally of recycled material. Yup! No new ideas, just enduring ones that I hope will outlast the plastic and toxins in your landfill.]

Earth Day 2008
The Boston Globe, 4/22/08

A Public Service Announcement

from the Johns Hopkins School of Public Health

At POPLINE, someone on our staff
Must believe they're a gifted empath.
Intent was distorted,
So searches aborted
And babies thrown out with the bath.

Magazine Led to Database's 'Abortion' Search Block
by Brenda Wilson, NPR, 4/9/08

A feline for those in need

Not intending to be, at all, witty,
I suggest that it's really a pity
That we can't get Osama
To finish the drama
And curl up tonight with this kitty!

Reports of an Italian director's ten minute You Tube of Oscar, just staring; or accounts of the cat's recent chess match with a Swedish auteur appear to be greatly exaggerated.

Does Feline Have a Feeling That Death Is Near?
NPR Morning Edition, 7/26/07

Food for thought?

So you eat 'til your stomach distends?
Who's at fault? Well, I guess that depends.
There's no need that you cease
Just because you're obese.
Place the blame on your overweight friends!

Obesity Spreads In Social Circles As Trends Do, Study Indicates
By Rob Stein, The Washington Post, 7/26/07

Knut ist ein Berliner

A polar bear cub, kname of Knut,
Has caused quite a heated dispute:
Is he better off dead?
Raised by humans, instead?
Would this matter if Knut weren't so kcute?


Rejected by his mother, Knut is forced to clean dishes
at the Berlin Zoo to earn his keep. Animal rights activists
say he would have died of dishpan paws in the wild.

*For those curious about the title: a short history lesson courtesy of Wikipedia

Rejected at birth, Knut becomes Berlin zoo's bear essential
By Kate Connolly, The Guardian, 3/24/07

Houston; we have a problem

What rational person would mace
Her rival for love in the face
Or attempt a kidnap
That’s so far off the map
You might say it was way out in space?

Astronaut Charged With Attempted Murder
By Maria Newman and Christine Hauser
The New York Times, 2/6/07

'Round midnight

This timepiece is used to display
Where the nuclear threat stands today.
Please note its advance
Indicates there's a chance
Armageddon's five minutes away!

Doomsday Clock edges toward midnight
Scientists add global warming to nuclear fears
The Boston Globe, 1/18/07

The elephant's rejoinder

Self-awareness? What mumbo(dash)jumbo!
Any true pachydermal Columbo,
Would need no reflection
To raise an objection
As to why you keep calling us Dumbo!

Elephants pass mirror test
By Washington Post writer, Rick Weiss
The Chicago Tribune, 10/31/06

Planetary lost and found?

Poor Pluto was fast losing ground
‘Til the IAU chose to expound
On what is a planet.
Don’t take nine for granite
With a dozen about to come round.

Round and Orbity? Must Be a Planet
By John Johnson Jr.
The Los Angeles Times, 8/16/06

Survival of the twit-test

Geneticists found a solution
For uncovering new evolution.
By measuring genes,
They now have the means
To map an event's contribution.

And armed with this means of detection
They've identified recent selection;
But it still can't reveal
The errant allele
That resulted in Bush's election!

Thanks to George at Brewed Fresh Daily for allerting me to the story. It's worth a read if only for the wonderful evolutionary morph of Stephen Jay Gould.

And the Evolutionary Beat Goes On . . .
By Shankar Vedantam, The Washington Post, 7/24/06

Ayatollah you "no!"

"The veto is not based on constitutional or legal objections. He is vetoing it because he says he believes it is immoral. Mr. President, you are not our moral ayatollah, maybe the president, nothing more."
-----Tom Harkin (D) Senator from Iowa

Bush vetoed this bill with a grin
That masked his war-mongering twin.
Invoking morality
Just shows, in reality,
What a hypocrite Dubbaya's been.

In First Veto, Bush Blocks Stem Cell Bill
By David Stout, The New York Times, 7/19/06

Quit blowing smoke!

To cigarette industry folk
Who’d let all the rest of us choke
While claiming “no harm:”
D’ya hear that alarm?
Your argument’s gone up in smoke!

Secondhand smoke debate 'over'
By Liz Szabo, USA TODAY, 6/27/06

Newsflash: Both leaks came from the top

One's questions of faith grow acuter
When faced with a major refuter.
We discovered this week
Mr. Bush sprung the leak,
In the gospel according to Scooter.

The Lost Gospel of Judas Iscariot?
NPR, 4/6/06

Libby Said Bush OKd Leaks
By Richard B. Schmitt and Peter Wallsten
Los Angeles Times, 4/7/06

Origin of specious

You may think the Savant had resolved:
"In '06, politics? Not involved!"
Could domestic surveillance
By right-wing assailants
Have meant I'd have thusly devolved?

No, I haven't been losing my spine.
My omissions are only a sign
That there never has been
An intelligence in
My creation by limerick design.

BREAKTHROUGH OF THE YEAR:
Evolution in Action
Elizabeth Culotta and Elizabeth Pennisi
Science, 12/23/05

Winner by a nose

Cleveland Clinic was setting the pace
In this cutting edge surgical race.
But then France finished first,
And our surgeons are cursed
With the question of how to save face.

French perform partial face transplant
Cleveland Clinic still plans full procedure
Harlan Spector, The Plain Dealer, 12/1/05

Good news: the ivory-bill has not passed

Extinction is Nature's home wrecker:
But thanks to an Arkansas trekker
We could save "ivory-bills,"
And no little blue pills
Are required for reviving this pecker.

[N.B. Thanks to cyberthrush at Ivory-bills LiVE!! for linking and making me think about changing the last line to what you see above. LS 4/18/07]

Ivory-Billed Woodpecker Rediscovered in Arkansas
NPR Radio Expedition, 4/28/05