Fed Med

For excitement, there's really no contest
'Tween the Fed and a coroner's inquest;
But will Mr. Greenspan
Do what no one else can
And manage to stir up our int'rest?

Fed begins debating interest rates
USA Today, 6/29/04

Who says he didn't have a plan?

The president's plan for Iraq:
First begin with an unjust attack.
Then stir up the factions
With ill-conceived actions.
After which, they can have it all back.

Handover advanced but problems remain
BBC, 6/28/04

What's Hot? - Fahrenheit 9/11

Two(?) movie reviews

In this lesson in hist'ry, complete,
Michael Moore has unmasked the deceit.
We're sure that this flick
Leaves conservatives sick,
And has Dubbaya feeling the heat.

Will response to the film be replete
With George Bush's November defeat?
Or will the election
Go in the direction
Of DodgeBall, as final conceit?




Your Vote Matters

Saudi Bank Amnesty Statement

On behalf of King Fahd, we announce
That your violent acts we renounce.
So you have thirty days
To give up your ways
Or we'll just have to cut your allow'nce.

Saudis offer militants amnesty
BBC, 6/24/04

Question to Mr. Bush

The Iraq that you led us astray for
Has a basis as thin as a wafer.
Three years down the road,
Has your bellicose mode
Made Americans feel any safer?

An Unsolicited Endorsement

I'll use Google's new mail happily.
It's blazingly fast, and it's free!
The searching's a dream
With their labeling scheme.
Yes, the buzzword in email is "G!"

From the E.P.A. to your C.P.A.

The cost, in pollution, is steep
When thousands of companies keep
Their monitors on.
So, when you are gone,
Please let your poor monitors "sleep."

A Revisionist Nursery Rhyme

Little Abdullah sat with his mullah
Saying his evening prayers.
Along came George Bush and booted his tush
Right down the minaret stairs.

So Little Bin Laden, feeling quite mad, in-
Formed George Bush, "You are done!
I'm sending a list to my terrorists;
The bombing begins 9-1-1.

Said Bush to George W., "Don't let it trouble ya;
I know how to get them all back.
Just trump up a link and let people think
Al-Qaida's in bed with Iraq."

So Dubbaya said, "Osama's in bed
With Saddam, who's a real nasty guy!"
And started a war to give him "what for,"
But, of course, it's all based on a lie.

A Missing Link

The September 11th Commission
Has just about ended its mission
And, just as we think,
They prove there's no link
Between Dubbaya's brain and cognition.

9/11 commission discounts Saddam-Bin Laden link
The Guardian, 6/16/04

Shop 'Til They Drop?

Did our jaws all collectively drop
On the news from the nation's first cop?
By making the call
To target a mall
Qaida's hitting us right where we shop!

"No. We treated it just like a rumor
While keeping our senses of humor.
Nothing comes between me
And my own shopping spree!"
Says the red-blooded die-hard consumer.

Mixed Emotions

Though he left our economy dreary;
We forget and our eyes become teary
As tears of the greedy
Get passed to the needy
All because of the "trickle down" theory.

Which Legacy?

A chivalrous slayer of communism;
Or modern soothsayer of optimism;
Or simply a man,
Whose simplistic plan
Still leaves us in financial schism?

Point2Point Counterpoint

A charming young fellow, Graham Lester,
Made comments that started to fester.
He misses my meaning:
I'm not just "left-leaning,"
But inclined to become the court jester!

Resigned to His Fate

Re: George Tenet

The news was a little mind numbing
To the pundits, with all their nose thumbing;
But he leaves unashamed,
Since he cannot be blamed
For failing to see this was coming!

Just Memories

Remember the fallen: we must,
Even as we are filled with disgust
For recent abuses.
The simpler truth is
We remember when war could be just.

Your responsibility?

To Mr. Rumsfeld:

It was clear, from the very first day,
You'd be fighting the war your own way.
The Geneva Convention
Was ne'er your intention,
So why would the soldiers obey?

When you act toward the world like its cop,
The buck has but one place to stop.
We can only construe
That, by acts "of a few,"
You meant acts of the few at the top.

The Price of Arrogance
Fareed Zakaria, Newsweek, 5/17/04

What more recommendation do you need?

I'm good enough;
I'm smart enough;
and doggone it, Republicans hate me!

I'm the fella you oughta be thankin'
For givin' George Bush a good spankin';
On American Air
There is no one as fair
Or as balanced as me, Al Franken.

Al Franken Show Blog
Air America

Secretary of Homeland Security, Tom Ridge,
unable to come up with a complete thought balloon
over the recent terrorist threat announcements


(unaltered photo from the AP)

To John Ashcroft:

So now your intelligence guys
Say the risk of attack's on the rise;
The malevolent seven
Aren't destined for heaven.
Should this come as a great big surprise?

Feds warn of terror attack
The Nasua Telegraph, 5/27/04

Cannes Do

Those keeping political score
On the real architects of the war
Will note, from now on,
The opinion in Cannes
As to peace: less is less; Moore is more.

Fahrenheit 9/11 Wins Palme d'Or
WorldPress.org, 5/23/04

Brown out

Fifty years since the Court took the view
That "separate but equal" was through.
It was only a tool,
Not the cure for your school.
So, don't ask, "What can 'Brown' do for you?"

Brown vs. Board of Education
NPR, 5/17/04

Let no one put asunder

Behold what has now come to pass
Between lad and lad; lass and lass
We'll remember this date
As gays celebrate
And line up to marry en Mass.

Gay Couples Marry in Massachusetts
NPR, 5/18/05

Do the pictures tell a story?

Who really is to blame?

When you study the look on each guard's face
You wonder who's also been scarred. Place
That soldier's young mind
In those horrors, unkind,
And they're caught 'tween Iraq and a hard place.

Four more years?

When the captors can play fast and loose
With the rules, well, there's just no excuse;
But what Bush has created
Can't be overrated
As a subtler form of abuse

Not Goin' ta Crawford

Despite the demands of his station,
And aware of the risk to the nation;
The Savant must postpone
The next sine qua non
Just because he deserves a vacation!

All the President's Plans

(To Mr. Bush:)

Mr. Woodward gives us the impression
That it wasn't Iraqi aggression;
But, from your first day,
The one thing in play
Was your clear and apparent obsession.

The Letter

Office of the Secretary
Department of Defense
1000 Defense Pentagon
Washington, DC 20301-1000
April __, 2004

Dear Mrs. _________;

The message, I guess you suspect,
That your son won't be home, is correct.
Outside of Fallujah,
His squad met a huge
Attack that we did not expect.

Sincerely,

Donald H. Rumsfeld

The Prez Sez:

The outlook for jobs isn't black.
The recovery, you see, is on track.
My plans for employment
Include the deployment
Of thousands more troops in Iraq.

A Brief Comment

Don't you think our Commander-in-Chief's
Lack of knowledge defies all beliefs?
So if more P.D.B.'s
Were to get a release
Mr. Bush would be caught in his briefs.

Condo for Rent

Condoleezza Rice demonstrates President Bush's
"fly swatting" technique to the 9/11 Commission

Even though she would testify twice,
The commission was not making nice.
So, while breaking for lunch,
One was left with the hunch
That the menu included steamed Rice.

Does he appreciate the irony?

"... 'we'll decide the course of democracy by the use of force,' and that is the opposite of democracy"

- George W. Bush 4/5/04

Is this picture worth a thousand lives?

The War President
courtesy of Joe at American Leftist

Manufactured Jobs?

To Mr. Bush -

Like the truest, conservative snob
Who looks down his nose at the mob;
You've cut unemployment
By timely deployment
Of that cunning new plan: the McJob.

15 Minutes of Irony

If it's true "what is past is prologue,"
Mr. Warhol cut straight through the fog.
If you want to lay claim
To your minutes of fame,
Then your future belongs to the blog!

No Fooling

Lest you worry your group might be missed,
We'll attempt, now, to give you the gist:
To prevent killing error,
Qaeda's primer of terror
Now includes everyone on the list.