Poetic license revoked

In Pakistan, poetry came
Done up in the guise of a game.
Initials combine,
One each to a line,
To reveal our real leader by name.

Veiled ode to George Bush deleted from Pakistani textbooks
Alex Kumi, The Guardian, 12/5/05

Revival of the poll tax?

It is true where there's fire, there is smoke,
But suggestion of fraud is a joke.
To require an I.D.
Is suppression, you see.
Why fix it, if it isn't broke?

Senate considers voter-ID provision
Julie Carr Smyth, The Plain Dealer, 12/6/05

No Tenzing Norgay...

To help me out of this one.

This one is for my wife who woke this morning to find me staring at her while I was lost in thought about how I might rewrite my last post. The only story here is the enduring one about how men and women communicate with each other.

While rousing from sleep, half aware;
You ask why it is that I stare.
So, as Hillary noted
And often is quoted;
I tell you, "Because you are there!"

Winner by a nose

Cleveland Clinic was setting the pace
In this cutting edge surgical race.
But then France finished first,
And our surgeons are cursed
With the question of how to save face.

French perform partial face transplant
Cleveland Clinic still plans full procedure
Harlan Spector, The Plain Dealer, 12/1/05

But wait! There's more!

Act now and you will receive one free year of
unexploded ordnance removal and,
as a special gift, a matching set of steak knives!

The Armed Forces are mostly inertial
When it comes to their acts, controversial;
So their planting of news
Will not end 'til they use
Ron Popeil in the paid infomercial.



Ronco's New Iraq-O-Matic
--The "V" is for Victory!--

U.S. Military Covertly Pays to Run Stories in Iraqi Press
By Mark Mazzetti and Borzou Daragahi,
Los Angeles Times, 10/30/05

Bush's exit 'stragedy'

A synopsis of Bush's Iraq withdrawal plans

We can leave without feeling remorse
If we build their security force.
Don't know that I'm able
To give a timetable.
'Stay the course' meant we're staying, of course.

Bush Maps Out Iraq War Strategy
The Guardian, 11/30/05

Professor Rumbledore casts a "Datum Obfuscata!"
spell to ward off the "Fortuna Reverso!" spell plaguing
his favorite student, Hairy (W.) Plodder.

Painful remedy

As multiple Vioxx suits lurk,
7,000 are now out of work.
After pulling the plug,
The once promising drug
Will, forever, be mired in this Merck.

Merck to Cut 7,000 Jobs, Close Plants
By Jim Zarroli, All Things Considered
NPR, 11/28/05

Playing the Blame Game

Plenty to go around

Yes, Democrats cannot deny
That they looked on this war with an "aye;"
But the blame we assign
For their sheer lack of spine
Doesn't give Mr. Bush a free bye.

Mr. Bush, you were quick to decry
Those who said that you led us awry;
But, for all your derision,
A lie of omission
Is, nevertheless, still a lie.

Pre-Iraq War Intelligence: A Look at the Facts
By Don Gonyea and Jackie Northam,
NPR Morning Edition, 11/23/05

Think of it as a harmonic convergence of sorts
By Molly Ivins, Creators Syndicate
Star Telegram, 11/23/05

Iraq: What Did Congress Know, And When?
Annenberg Political Fact Check, 11/19/05

On the cul-de-sac

This one's inspired by Cowtown Pattie's latest post:

I once thought I'd head down that street
With poetic anger, replete;
But awed veneration
Of Jack's generation
Has turned into feeling just beat.

Spiders Across the Stars
Texas Trifles, 11/17/05

Tortured passed

Could our motives be reckoned ulterior
In exposing the Shiite Interior
Ministry's acts?
Just look at the facts:
Our torture now seems so inferior.


The Debate Over Torture
By Evan Thomas and Michael Hirsh
Newsweek, Nov. 21, 2005 issue

Torture Alleged at Ministry Site Outside Baghdad
By John F. Burns, New York Times, 11/16/05

Call me irresponsible

You know, Mr. Bush, I'm a vet
But, like many, I deeply regret
That you lied led us to war.
It's a crime that, no more,
We'll continue to aid and abet.

In your own words: Fool me once; shame on you...

Beleaguered Bush hits out at 'irresponsible' Iraq war critics
Julian Borger, The Guardian, 11/12/05

If journaling makes you a journalist,...

avoid racing.

It took me a while to cull my thoughts about the lively and lengthy discussion over "blogger ethics" at Brewed Fresh Daily into limerick form. The result may win me no friends among bloggers.

Can the blogosphere just self-assess
Without standards imposed? Well, I guess;
But, for pros who write prose,
We ask more, I suppose,
Than this Internet Vanity Press.

Tech Link: Kent State panel discussion:
Ethics for bloggers?
Brewed Fresh Daily, 11/2/05

Make some beautiful music today:

The sweet music will stick in our throats,
When it's sung missing some of the notes;
And Democracy's song
Won't endure very long,
If it isn't composed of our votes.

Vote

Too busy to vote? Not her -- ever
Connie Schultz, The Plain Dealer, 11/7/05

To the Plain Dealer

And John Campanelli:

Gee, thanks for the kind interview
And the chance to show folks what I do.
If there's ever a time
You have reason for rhyme
The Savant will be there PDQ.

It's still the same old story...

Prime times indeed

In honor of his first appearance in the print media, an interview completely in limerick form, the Savant has decided to sponsor a "Complete the limerick" contest. Just finish the limerick below in the comments section of this post. I've offered some of my own examples to get you primed and don't forget to read the interview for some inspiration.

Credit will be given for keeping the meter, originality, and mostly for making me laugh. The sinner winner will receive an all expense paid (provided he/she pays all the expenses) trip to the disaster area of his/her choice or a limited edition copy of the Savant's chapbook, "Four-Year Funk," whichever disaster comes first. The chapbook is also available for purchase through December, along with some actually worthwhile articles, at the HeightsArt Gallery Holiday Store. Since Judge Alito may be otherwise occupied, the decison of the other judge(s) is final.


The Savant got to try something new
When they gave him a print interview.
Unlike Valerie Plame,
They're concealing his name;

a) But the photo might act as a clue.

b) Because Rove never heard of him, too.

c) Karl's response was, "The Limerick Who?"

d) Write your own, dear reader, and add it to the comments section

Prime times for rhymes
10 minutes with - The Limerick Savant
PDQ&A, by John Campanelli
The Plain Dealer, 11/6/05

Gulag Shock

Mr. Bush, we would like it explained
How Geneva can be so disdained.
A secret detention
Defies that convention
And the Truth is what's really detained.

Pressure on allies over CIA's 'al-Qaida camps'
· European commission and Red Cross seek answers
Nicholas Watt, The Guardian, 11/4/05

Flippin' the bird flu

If Bush worries 'bout citizens dying,
There's a cure he can find without trying:
Just bring the troops back
From his war in Iraq
And stop the pandemic of lying.

Bush Announces Plan to Prepare for Flu Epidemic
By Gardiner Harris, New York Times, 11/2/05

For a good time, call Sam

His decisions are sure to enthrall
Arch conservative pols, one and all.
So, meet Sam Alito,
He's Justice Graffito,
Cuz the writing is now on the wall.

Alito Could Move Court Dramatically to the Right
By Nina Totenberg, Morning Edtion , NPR, 11/1/05

Cheney of fools

If Dick Cheney were only astuter
He'd have steered clear of using that Scooter.
They are said to cause falls
That can injure one's balls
And might end up by leaving you neuter.

Cheney Adviser Resigns After Indictment
The Washington Post, 10/28/05

Awaiting indictments

Oh, what a tangled web they wove,
Who practised tactics with Karl Rove.

[With apologies to Sir Walter Scott]

Rove, Libby Prepare for Possible Indictments
By Jim VandeHei and Carol D. Leonnig
Washington Post, 10/28/05

No end to burning questions

They're extinguishing Harriet Miers!
Seems the more that the Senate requires,
The less Bush supplies.
So, they thought it unwise
Her providing more fuel for the fires.

Harriet Miers Withdraws Nomination
By Fred Barbash, Washington Post, 10/27/05

What's Jermaine to Clevelanders

In Cleveland, we stayed up all night
Bemoaning the season that might
Have led to the Series.
Here's one of our theories:
Next year, we must shock the Sox, White.

Chicago's sweeping beauties
Sox win their first Series title since 1917
Paul Hoynes, The Plain Dealer, 10/27/05

A message from Ahnuld

"Ah'll be bahking your state's Issue 4
Just to give Gerry Mander what for.
If you draw the lines straighter,"
Says the famed Governator,
"It won't look like Kuala Lumpur."

Conan says,

"Only a barbarian would
draw voting districts like this!"

Schwarzenegger backs Ohio's Issue 4 reform initiatives
By Jim Tankersley, The Toledo Blade, 10/19/05

From her seat, she stood tall

When her heavenly transit embarks,
At the forefront will sit Rosa Parks.
For her one simple act
Will forever impact
And teach us from whence Freedom sparks.

Civil Rights Icon Rosa Parks Dies
NPR, 10/25/05

The view from the "North Coast"

Met with bloggers from NEO*, last night
And we talked of "what is" and "what might."
Whatever their bent,
They all represent
A future for Cleveland that's bright.

*[That's Northeast Ohio for you Matrix fans]

Oct Blog Meetup
The Town Fryer, 10/19/05

Wake up and smell the city

Does he have universal appeal?
Don't know, but the postings are real.
He brews local news
And elicits your views.
In Cleveland, that's "BFD."

What, me curry?

Cowtown Pattie uncovered the clues
That will lead to my comical muse,
But I swear Alfred E.
Ain't got nuthin' on me.
If I'm MAD, should that come as real news?

A new hat in the ring?

Remember that powerful ring which
Mr. Frodo "destroyed?" It's the thing which
Has lured Mr. Newt
To begin the pursuit
That could lead us from Gollum to Gingrich.



Gingrich Considers White House Run
CBS News, 10/14/05

No previous history of violence

Those with children who love Papa Smurf
Better censor the sites that they surf.
As to mayhem and death:
Who'da thunk UNICEF
Could out-shock Cronenberg on that turf?



Smurfs 'bombed' in UN ad campaign
BBC News, 10/12/05

It's the infrastructure, stupid!

Shi`a, Sunni, and Kurds can't deny
That a new constitution won't fly
Unless it proceeds
To provide for the needs
Of Iraqis who barely get by.

He said that the portrayal of Iraq by Western leaders of efforts to introduce democracy, including Saturday's national vote on the country's proposed constitution was "unreal" to most of its citizens. In Baghdad, children and women were kept at home to prevent them from being kidnapped for money or sold into slavery. They faced a desperate struggle to find the money to keep generators running to provide themselves with electricity. "They aren't sitting in their front rooms discussing the referendum on the constitution."
-Iraq has descended into anarchy, says Fisk
By Nigel Morris, The Independent, 10/13/05

Iraq reconstruction shows 'limited progress'
By Tom Regan, The Christian Science Monitor, 8/26/05

Iraqi Lawmakers OK Last-Minute Amendments
By Mariam Fam, The Guardian, 10/13/05

GriM Prophecy

Don't you think that the industry ceded
Years ago, when the omens weren't heeded?
When every outsource
Determined that course,
Why is Delphi, as oracle, needed?

Staggering blow: Delphi's bankruptcy ominous sign for fading auto industry
By Bill Vlasic and Brett Clanton, The Detroit News 10/9/05

Hear Yee, Hear Yee!

Though they voice a more tolerant tone,
Anti-Islam abuses have grown.
Wonder how that could be?
You must read Captain Yee
And you'll see how they act toward their own.

"I was sure that I was being imprisoned in large part because I had fought so hard to ensure the detainees at Guantánamo were given the things they needed to practice their religion, yet here I was being denied those things myself."
-James Yee, For God and Country: Faith and Patriotism Under Fire, 2005

Chaplain cites anti-Islam zeal
By Carol Rosenberg, The Miami Herald, 10/7/05

Earning their "Honorable" title

The country can count on McCain
To act as the president's bane.
Who better to know
How to deal with a foe
By making the torture humane?

Senate Supports Interrogation Limits
90-9 Vote on the Treatment of Detainees
Is a Bipartisan Rebuff of the White House
By Charles Babington and Shailagh Murray
Washington Post, 10/6/05

Memorandum

From: Karl Rove
Subj: Justice "Cypher"
To: President Bush

When Justice O'Connor retires,
Who'll replace her? Why, Harriet Miers!
What's there to assail
With no paper trail
Of tenets to which she aspires?

Rove played an active role in selection of Miers
By Joseph Curl, The Washington Times, 10/6/05