B-2,300 weeks before Social Security

How does that commencement day thing go?
When Russert recycles his lingo
In speeches to grads,
The lasses and lads,
At Harvard, are calling out "Bingo!"

Russert Draws Laughs, Dispenses Advice
Students tease news anchor on ‘Meet the Press’ about his predictability
By VINITA M. ALEXANDER, The Crimson, 6/9/05

Patriots Act!

It's time that each citizen be sure
How we act as to 'search' and to 'seizure:'
When rights are erased
By Congress, in haste,
We get to repent it at leisure!

"Married in haste, we may repent at leisure."
- William Congreve (1670-1729)
English dramatist
from The Old Bachelor, act v. sc. 1.

We are not yet married to this terrible breach of civil liberties.
Contact your representatives now!

'Secret' Senate meeting on Patriot Act
The Christian Science Monitor, 6/6/05

Pruning the Patriot Act
The Boston Globe, 6/8/05

New, improved 'Operation Lightning' cleans up?

Is there any solution emergent
That will flush out each single insurgent?
Yet Cheney implied,
All it takes from our side,
Is like choosing a better detergent.

Bush steadfast on Iraq progress as growing violence fuels debate
By Jim VandeHei and Peter Baker (The Washington Post)
The Seattle Times, 6/6/05

The buzz from Washington

Been practicing since he was three
On a "trope" or "synecdoche."
This young man of letters
Has joined the go-getters
Who aim to be all they can bee!

Spelling-bee champ got prepared online
By Petula Dvorak of The Washington Post
The Seattle Times, 6/3/05

Semantic antics

Mr. Bush, you have no one to blame
But yourself, for the 'Amnesty' claim.
So, you call it "absurd"
And you give us your word
That, "compared to 'gulag,' we are tame."


Guantanamo Bay: A "Gulag Of Our Times" or a "Model Facility"?
A Debate on the U.S. Prison & Amnesty International
Democracy Now!, 6/1/05

More Watergate under the bridge

[Note: Kids, can you find the identity of the Watergate informant, secretly hidden within this limerick?]

Deep Throat, that invisible belt,
Who raised a political welt
On Nixon's rearguard;
Left 'em smartin' so hard,
They remember still how that Mark Felt.


Those who were there express shock, admiration at disclosure
By Dan Morgan of The Washington Post
The Seattle Times, 6/1/05

"Non" starter

French voters have shouted, "Mon Dieu!
We had to say 'non,' it is true.
The Union is fine,
But we can't abide wine
Who's essence just reeks of EU!"

French Voters Reject EU Constitution
NPR, 5/30/05

For those who serve

Recyle Alert!
(reworked limerick from a previous post)

I first posted the following image in April, 2004 under the headline "Is this picture worth a thousand lives?" - an unfortunately prophetic question. Common Ground magazine made it the cover of their July, 2004 issue and they were kind enough to post my comments on it there:

Art is art and should not have to justify itself. What the viewer brings to the experience always colors the experience. In the tradition of the best of art, your image is neither didactic nor easily interpreted. As a veteran myself, I find the images of my fellow servicemen and women to be both poignant and a tribute to their willingness to serve. What wartime leader would not acknowledge that their "image" is truly built on those that serve at the frontlines? I congratulate you on creating an image whose meaning and motive is not simply discerned, unlike the subject of that image.
- The Limerick Savant

I think it bears reposting on this Memorial Day and so long as our president is willing to risk American (and Iraqi) lives in a conflict of his own making.

The War President
courtesy of Joe Wezorek at American Leftist


Click image for enlarged view

So the nuns were right?

As the evidence quickly amasses
What a danger Cialis, alas, is;
I'm hoping they find
It won't make me blind
If I use it just 'til I need glasses.

[Thanks to the Woody that inspired this limerick; "Allen," that is!]

Viagra blindness fears prompt inquiry
The Guardian, 5/28/05

Creighton Lovelace = Loveless Cretin

The Koran next encountered a brush
With a pastor who'd give it the flush.
There's no use us treatin'
This new loveless cretin
As more than just Southern fried mush.

Keith Olbermann (MSNBC) interview with Creighton Lovelace
as viewed at onegoodmove

Biting the hand that feeds

To the yea-sayers (both of you):

It has been a little over a year since I started this blog and over 3 years since I began the Limerick Savant project, inspired by events of September 11, 2001 and their repercussions. So, this seems as good a time as any to reflect on why I'm still here and what I hope to accomplish.

Oh, who am I kidding? Consider the following as the Savant's special "thank you" to those of you who have supported him with you e-mails, comments, links, groans, outright hostility or utter neglect. None of it seems to have had any effect.

I carefully fashion my rhyme
To insult both profane and sublime.
You're not yet offended?
That wasn't intended;
You simply must give me more time!

15 Minutes of Irony

Judge Wars III: The New Hope

Disappointment for Senator Frist:
Filibuster got slapped on the wrist
Instead of the "nuke;"
When, like Vader and Luke,
Senate moderates made-up and kissed.

The Senate saves itself
By Scot Lehigh, The Boston Globe, 5/25/05

The 'Sith' hits the fans

Choose your review

George Lucas, it's time that you quit
Replicating the same sorry hit.
Could that title reveal
That the "Star Wars" appeal
Has morphed to "Revenge of the Sh*t?"

or

The likeness, we have to admit,
Is an ideological fit;
But our own tragic tale,
In which Bush doth prevail,
Is more aptly "Revenge of the ____."

Latest 'Star Wars' Movie Is Quickly Politicized
By DAVID M. HALBFINGER, The New York Times, 5/19/05

Wasn't that "nukyoolar?"

According to Senator Frist,
"We won't let our judges be 'dissed.'
If, votes, we can't muster
To kill filibuster;
We'll give it the nuclear twist."


Showdown in Senate on judicial filibusters
By Carolyn Lochhead, Chronicle Washington Bureau
San Fransisco Chronicle, 5/18/05

Come, set a spell

Here's a site that is serving us well
On the way to typographer's hell.
You'll get there much quickr
By picking with flickr
And letting your words cast the spell

Reputation in the toilet

Seems NewsWeek was so in a rush
To play their Guantanamo flush
That the story they ran,
About the Koran,
Is giving them reason to blush.

Newsweek Apologizes
Inaccurate Report on Koran Led to Riots
By Howard Kurtz, Washington Post, 5/16/05

Georgia on my mind

Was safety in Georgia waylaid?
And why was the news so delayed?
They felt no dismay:
If Bush was the prey,
Then it must be a "dummy" grenade.


What goes around, comes around?

White House: Grenade Was No Threat to Bush
The Guardian, 5/11/05

Real ID = Real Trouble

A public service message
from the Republican Congress:

Wherever you live on the globe,
Be prepared for our alien probe.
Cuz the Real ID
Is a license, you see,
For each Red, White & Blue xenophobe.

Act Now!

Suspicious license
The Boston Globe, 5/9/05

Questions of sanity

With insanity used as a ploy
His attorney called him a "sick boy."
Does showing free will,
Even though he was ill,
Make Charles the real McCoy?

Closing Argument in Highway Shooting Trial
The Guardian, 5/5/05

Holocaust Remembrance Day

Have we learned nothing?

Who measures the terrible cost
Of Sudanese lives that are lost?
Genocide in Darfur
Is a wolf at the door
That howls out a new Holocaust!

Nicholas D. Kristof: Day 114 of Bush's silence
International Herald Tribune, 5/4/05

Blushing bride

We will pity the runaway bride.
She can run but she clearly can't hide;
And the kidnapping hoax
Makes her butt of all jokes.
All to have wedding plans set aside?



Cold feet could land runaway bride in jail
The Guardian, 5/2/05

More revisionist rhetoric

What does the report represent?
It depends on how truth can be bent:
For if you are free
Of those Dubya M D,
We'll attack you for just your intent.

Report Finds No Evidence Syria Hid Iraqi Arms
By Dana Priest, the Washington Post, 4/26/05

Maybe it's just the ivory-billed woodpecker

The PATRIOT act caught us napping
As our liberties took a good rapping;
But, never you fear,
That sound that you hear
Isn't Big Brother a-tapping.

Wiretaps in U.S. Jump 19 Percent in 2004
By Devlin Barrett, The Guardian, 4/28/05

Good news: the ivory-bill has not passed

Extinction is Nature's home wrecker:
But thanks to an Arkansas trekker
We could save "ivory-bills,"
And no little blue pills
Are required for reviving this pecker.

[N.B. Thanks to cyberthrush at Ivory-bills LiVE!! for linking and making me think about changing the last line to what you see above. LS 4/18/07]

Ivory-Billed Woodpecker Rediscovered in Arkansas
NPR Radio Expedition, 4/28/05

Bolton nomination is U.N.done

All hail George Voinovich

The news that his anger was molten
And he bullied his staff was so joltin',
That the Dems can give thanks,
In Republican ranks,
Some members are leanin' towards boltin'.

In surprise, vote on Bolton delayed
GOP senator asks to hear more
The Boston Globe, 4/20/05

Mel Gibson is happy

The conclave selected a pope
Who won't slide down that slippery slope.
So it seems "Cardinal No,"
Keeping doctrine in tow,
Will be known now as "Pope of the Nope."

From Hitler Youth to the Vatican
The Guardian, 4/20/05

Keeping abreast of silicone II

In an F.D.A. policy shift,
That should leave the competitors miffed:
Seems Mentor may sell
Its silicone gel,
Which should give all their boobs a big lift.


Having exhausted more breast puns than even he can tolerate, and not to minimize the real need for safe alternatives for those needing reconstuctive surgery; the Savant suggests you visit this very worthy site:



FDA panel supports firm's breast implant
The Boston Globe, 4/14/05

Let history or Roger Waters decide

In an act of unparalleled gall,
Mr. Bush ranked Saddam Hussein's fall.
Pink Floyd might object
To this lack of respect
In comparing his war to "The Wall."


Support our troops; not our boobs!

[NB: In his hubris, Bush really thinks his war is on a par with the war against Fascism and the fall of the Third Reich but he couldn't spell "Fascism" and doesn't know how to pronounce "Reich."]

Bush likens Saddam's fall to end of Berlin Wall
By Bill Sammon, The Washington Times, 4/13/05

No support for silicone breasts

In silicone, some place their trust;
Some feel they just pander to lust.
But to keep you abreast
Of the F.D.A. test:
The implants are still a big bust!

Panel upholds breast implant rule
FDA advisors vote to keep partial ban on silicone devices
San Francisco Chronicle, 4/13/05

Papal funeral delegation

A message from our administration

Among living leaders of state
We're afraid Jimmy Carter won't rate.
Instead he's been snubbed
For the one to be dubbed
Our own Condoleeza 'the Great.'

Carter's Absence From Group Reignites Tensions With Bush
By Peter Baker, The Washington Post, 4/8/05

Skip the crises; I am Pisces

The Savant has just gotten his wish
And grown out of that old Petri dish:
TLB's ecosystem
Will currently list him
Among all the "Flippery Fish!"

The Truth Laid Bear Blgosphere Ecosystem

Untapped Laughter

My knowledge, I fear, had a gap
About maples and why we must tap:
This explosive report,
For a sec, took me short
'Til I realized I was the sap!

Thanks to Robert Siegel and the NPR bunch for catching the Savant off guard, this evening, on his usually tedious commute. You had me LOL the whole way home!

New England Suffers Maple Woes
By Robert Siegel, All Things Considered, NPR, 4/1/05

Life with dignity

Death makes us all April fools

As we ponder the ethical scope
Of a death, be it Schiavo or pope -
That the pontiff may choose,
While another refuse;
Is the concept that gives us all hope.


Moral Clarity
CBS News, 3/31/05

Two very different lives exposed by the media grip us all
Daniel Schorr, The Christian Science Monitor, 4/1/05

Pentagon passes brass

The prisoner abuse epidemic
Has turned into quite the polemic.
In the latest report
Adm. Church will purport
That the problem was never systemic.

Documents show widespread prisoner abuse
Air Force Times, 3/28/05

Pentagon Report Clears Top Officers in Iraq Prison Abuse
NPR, 3/10/05

Old Ojibwe saying: Never laugh at your children

[Gego baapiineminaken gidaabinoojiiyug]

In Red Lake we have reservation
As to whence came this sad aberration.
The pox of our age -
The white-man's dark rage -
Has infected the Chippewa nation.

Horror and hope at Red Lake Nation
By Scott Richard Lyons, Indian Country Today, 3/23/05