Friday, September 29, 2006

They want to kill us

Or is it just the messenger?

The Republican campaign of terror,
Which preys on our fears, is an error.
People tend to confuse
Those who bear the bad news
With that news, thusly blaming the bearer.

This ad make the Savant wonder "Who is it, that really wants to terrorize us?"

Conservative Group Airs Pro-Bush Ad
The Guardian, 9/7/06

Monday, September 25, 2006

In that number?

Forget the political spin.
We don’t care if they lose or they win,
For tonight at the "Dome"
It is all about "home"
When the Saints will go marching back in.

New Orleans Hopes to Make Superdome a Home Again
By Lee Jenkins, The New York Times, 9/25/06

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

No monopoly on stupidity

First, Benedict called them "inhuman"
And Muslims, worldwide, started fumin'.
Now, al-Qaeda's reply
Seeks to prove it a lie
By slitting some throats, we're presumin'?

"Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."
----Pope Benedict XVI quoting Emperor Manuel II Paleologus

“We tell the worshipper of the Cross that you and the West will be defeated . . . May God enable us to slit their throats, and make their money and descendants the bounty of the mujahidin.”
----Mujahidin Shura Council

Calls for calm as militants threaten to kill the Pope
By Richard Owen, The Times Online, 9/19/06

Saturday, September 16, 2006

The Idiom Savant says:

On the blackboard, please write this in chalk
Fifty times: "I won’t make idle talk
In support of a cause."
It’s just clutching at straws
Unless you are walking the walk.

Once again the Savant will be walking for his favorite cause and as a special offer to the loyal readers of his blog, he will send a signed copy of the Limerick Savant's chapbook, Four-year Funk, to anyone who donates $15 or more as a sponsor. The chapbook is a beautiful handmade collection of past limericks, and it sports a three color silk screen cover. He will make good on the offer if you walk in, or sponsor, your local NAMI Walks event too. Heck, just get out there and support a cause and he'll make good on the bargain. [N.B. donations to the RNC excepted. Offer void where prohibited by law or good taste.]

Friday, September 15, 2006


Americans value the horse
As a symbol of beauty and force,
And seem thusly surprised
To have just realized
That for others it’s merely main course.

I was set to post this one last week but, inspired by our do nothing Congress, I decided to take some time off. Unlike them, however, I'm not getting paid for my part-time, half-assed efforts.

As, what I call, a marine vegetarian, (that neither means I'm militant nor that my motto is "Semper Fiddleheads," but just that I also eat seafood) I am opposed to the needless slaughter of sentient life; but is this really the best Congress could do given all the pressing issues before them? If they're concerned about slaughter, how about taking some action on the situation in Darfur? Does it take a Hollywood hunk to clue us in on the fact that this is "the first genocide of the 21st Century?"

Maybe this is necessary and important legislation but it seems like the worst kind of election year pandering from a Congress where the posterior end of the beast reigns supreme.

Horse Slaughtering: The New Terrorism?
Congress hasn't done much this year,
but few bills have stirred more passion than
one to protect horses from being turned into horsemeat

By Douglas Waller, Time, 9/7/06

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Five years later...

Politics as usual

Unlike the president, memories of the events of September 11, 2001 left me speechless.

The Politics of the 'Not-Political' Speech
President Bush's 9/11 Anniversary Speech
Wasn't Supposed to Be Political
By Mark Halperin, ABC News, 9/12/06

Friday, September 08, 2006

More favorite things

Imagine, if you will, a bird’s-eye view of the mountains of Tora Bora in Afghanistan. The camera swoops down in a long, slow zoom, zeroing in on Mr. Bush atop one of the peaks. As the orchestra swells, we see him dancing and singing but with a quizzical look that says, "Where is all this music coming from?"

Fast forward to the Oval Office. We see the president sitting with little Katie Couric, assuring her that she will be the best anchor since Walter Cronkite if only she remains the polite, good girl and forgets about follow-up questions. Flush with embarrassment over the compliment, Katie timidly asks, "Do you wish that your administration had handled detainees and sort of the rules and - and the guidelines for the treatment of these - detainees differently?"

Bush reaches behind a brocade-trimmed curtain, pulls out a spruce-top guitar, and launches into this rendition (excuse the pun) of the Rodgers and Hammerstein favorite.

Click for the music

Black hoods on Muslims or just waterboarding
Blasting their ears with Black Sabbath recordings
Making them jump like a puppet on strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Prisoners stripped naked and in solitary
Making them shave even when they are hairy
Upping the shocks just a couple of joules
These are a few of my favorite tools

Flush Korans down
In the toilet
That’s how we stop a plot
Please don’t restrict us or then you will spoil it
And it’s really all that we’ve got.

Good cop and bad cop and sleep deprivation
Rapid-fire questions and forced isolation
CIA prisons kept hidden from view
These are some things that we still plan to do

Black hoods on Muslims or just waterboarding
Blasting their ears with Black Sabbath recordings
Making them jump like a puppet on strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Threaten dog bites
Make them stand and stand
I’ll simply remember these former solutions
And then I will feel quite grand

Bush Vows to Use All Anti-Terror Tools
President Bush Vows to Use All Tools Available
to Fight Terrorists Determined to Attack U.S.
By Jennifer Loven, ABC News, 9/7/06

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Bush's favorite things

What King George really said

No more boarding in icy-cold pools
Nor zapping the family jewels?
We were winning the game;
If we don’t, now, I blame
It on having to play by the rules.

Bush: Secret CIA Prisons a 'Vital' Tool
Bush Admits CIA Runs Secret Prisons Overseas,
Says Interrogations Made Terrorists Reveal Plots
By Deb Riechmann, ABC News, 9/7/06