300 reasons to stay outside Firewall

With Harrison looking so bored,
The marketing gets the award.
It seems that the car,
In the ads, is the star.
And the winner is... Chrysler, not Ford!



Firewall
Bill Muller, The Arizona Republic, 2/10/06

Listening for the hidden message

By revealing this thwarted attack
I expect I can knock you off track
From how we surveilled
And all that entailed.
Maybe now you will cut me some slack.

Bush Says Cooperation Foiled 2002 Terrorist Scheme
By William Branigin, Washington Post, 2/9/06

Looking for comedy in the...

Muslim Christian Jewish Hindu World?

The outrage has spread like a rumor
And grown like a cancerous tumor.
Thus, as to religion,
Who's hit by the pigeon
Determines who senses the humor.









Did you hear about the atheist's funeral?
All dressed up and nowhere to go.

Special Report: Cartoon Protests
The Guardian, 2/7/06

Eavesdropping on the Judiciary Committee

Q:
You won't detail wiretapping, now, will you?
We've confronted the lies and, yet, still you
Construct a stone wall.
A:
If I answered, at all,
Mr. Senator, I'd have to kill you!


U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee
Holds a Hearing on Wartime Executive Power
and the National Security Agency's Surveillance Authority
Transcript in the Washington Post, 2/6/06

Why, ain’t that work?

Well, maybe it is, and maybe it ain’t. All I know, is, it suits Limerick Savant.

River Ratt of the Ratt Hole saw how much fun I was having and offered up this timely verse but, I'm sorry, I just couldn't accept any more unsolicited submissions at limericksavantATgmailDOTcom.

His political career has been rocky,
In the race to succeed George Pataki,
So Tom Golisano
Won't go mano a mano,
Preferring to stick with his hockey.

Golisano says 'no' to governor's race
Tom Precious, The Buffalo News, 2/91/06

Ka-Qing! That'll cost you

It's clear that we can't take you places.
Now, you've gone and destroyed priceless vases!
You ignored her advice
And you're paying the price.
Mom told you to tie up those laces!

Thanks to Mags at You Forgot Poland for alerting me to this story. And check out this tasty little limerick from her as well. Bet that will wake you up in the morning!

Historic vases smashed in stumble
BBC News, 1/30/06

Brokeback President

A State of the Union synopsis

Yes, the war isn't o'er and I spy.
Give my right-wing agenda a try.
Despite the brickbats,
I can woo Democrats
If we're partisan, can't we be bi?

Bush Speech to Congress Offers Few New Proposals
NPR, 2/1/06

Freyed Oprah tears into "Pieces"

Who'd ya think you were fooling, ya dope ya,
By treating the truth as a trope! The
Real price, Mr. Frey,
To be paid for your lie,
Is the fact there's no messing with Oprah.

Now, if she'd only take on Bush!

Live on 'Oprah,' a Memoirist Is Kicked Out of the Book Club
By Edward Wyatt, The New York Times, 1/27/06

Berry worried

Before you start ranting and raving
Over BlackBerry's patent suit caving:
The likely injunction
May cause some dysfunction
But think of the thumbs they'll be saving!

BlackBerry blackout could be costly
By Grace Wong, CNN, 1/24/06

Fodder of his country

Bush says that he's only applying
Rules Washington used as to spying;
But the rule we were taught
Was that, even when caught,
That "George" wouldn't be caught by his lying

Administration Continues Eavesdropping Defense
By John O'Neil, The New York Times, 1/24/06

Pointing the way

After Sunday's career eighty-one,
Kobe stunned all his critics, bar none.
"I'm just self-reliant,
Not selfish," says Bryant
"And won't wilt 'til the record's outdone."

With 81 Points, Kobe Crushes Critics
ABC News, 1/23/06

Swiss miss

Dick Marty has advanced the suspicion
That the EU condoned inquisition.
It's the same tortured song
That we've heard far too long
And we still do not like the rendition.

Report accuses US of 'outsourcing' torture
By Philippe Naughton, Times Online, 1/24/06

Globe trotter

Each year, at this time, movie's hordes
Come to Holly wood like it was Lourdes.
I wish I could quit you
But have to know which you
Will bless with those shiny awards.

Globe wins establish `Brokeback Mountain' as Oscar favorite
David Germain, Miami Herald, 1/17/06

Happy punniversary!

After more than a year, it is time
I acknowledge this fellow in rhyme.
His writing's insightful;
His punning is frightful;
But it's all Brother K.'s paradigm.

Brother Kenya's Paradigm

Another Alito graffito

While our senators spar the devices
Of recusal and stare decisis;
Is Alito v. Roe
How it's destined to go?
We don't know but so far we see crisis.

A Right Cautious Nominee
Measured Replies Paint Picture With a Conservative Tint
By Charles Lane, Washington Post 1/13/06

Origin of specious

You may think the Savant had resolved:
"In '06, politics? Not involved!"
Could domestic surveillance
By right-wing assailants
Have meant I'd have thusly devolved?

No, I haven't been losing my spine.
My omissions are only a sign
That there never has been
An intelligence in
My creation by limerick design.

BREAKTHROUGH OF THE YEAR:
Evolution in Action
Elizabeth Culotta and Elizabeth Pennisi
Science, 12/23/05

Orchestrating a takeover?

The Rosenberg Principle

The brilliant young maestro, James Gaffigan
Is twice the conductor, and half again,
As Franz Welzer Most.
Incredible boast?
Well, yes. I'm just kidding, so laugh again!

A start that's anything but same old, same old
Donald Rosenberg, Music Critic
The Plain Dealer, 1/7/06

Risky business

As a user of slang, I'm no slouch,
But the winner this year is an "Ouch!"
I would much rather use,
"He has gone on a Cruise."
Or would that just be "jumping the couch."

‘Jump the couch’ is top gun of slang in '05
MSNBC 12/30/05

Monkey see - monkey do

A Review

Peter Jackson's created a "Kong"
That will make every movie buff long
To return to Skull Island.
It's a movie with style and
Delivers some brains with the brawn.

Merry Fristmas

'Twas the week before Christmas
and all through the House,
the congressmen grumbled
and started to grouse.

"We've carefully crafted
our measures to hide
any hint of goodwill.
Now the Senate's denied

Our attempt to have all
Civil liberties sacked
By renewing a barely
Changed PATRIOT act;

And drilling in ANWR
Was set to commence
Until the damn Senate
Cut that from Defense!

So our stockings are empty
As we're set to recess
But before we go home
We just have to express

Our seasonal greeting
That 'Never you fear,
If we don't get it now,
You just wait 'til next year!'"


Postponing Debate, Congress Extends Terror Law 5 Weeks
By Sheryl Gay Stolberg, The New York Times, 12/23/05

Finding solace in the solstice

This concern over greetings is rot!
Will my wishes be P.C. or not?
After weighing the trends,
I'll seek equal offense
And express them so "X" marks the spot.

Merry Xmas
Peace on earth
Good will toward men all

Church groups confront Wal-Mart for dropping Christmas message
By Tom Chorneau, San Jose Mercury News, 12/17/05
[And there are so many better reasons to attack Wal-Mart!]

History 102

Now dear students, it only is fair
That we seek to contrast and compare:
Was Bush-ordered spying
And pattern of lying
On a par with the Clinton affair?

Bigger brother
Editorial, Los Angeles Times, 12/18/05

Patriots Act! - call to action

I posted the following back in June but it, again, seems relevant.

It's time that each citizen be sure
How we act as to 'search' and to 'seizure:'
When rights are erased
By Congress, in haste,
We get to repent it at leisure!

"Married in haste, we may repent at leisure."
- William Congreve (1670-1729)
English dramatist
from The Old Bachelor, act v. sc. 1.

Contact your representatives and ask for an annulment!

If that's not enough to inspire you, check out Cowtown Pattie's more reasoned argument.

and if that's not enough to convince you, then how about this:

Bush Secretly Lifted Some Limits on Spying in U.S. After 9/11, Officials Say
By James Risen and Eric Lichtblau, The New York Times, 12/15/05

Critics of Patriot Act Gaining Momentum in Senate
By Richard B. Schmitt, Los Angeles Times, 12/16/05

Dyeing for a change?

While thoughts of past tyranny linger
Iraqis might shoot us a zinger;
And seek their redress
On those who oppress,
And give us the purple-stained finger.

Heavy Sunni Turnout as Iraqis Vote for Parliament
By Dexter Filkins, The New York Times, 12/15/05

A message from the sisters at

Gamma Gamma Chi

It's OK if you're wondering why
Would a Muslim sorority try
To open on campus,
But please do not stamp us
"The Sweethearts of al-Qaida Chi."

For Muslims seeking sisterhood, fledgling sorority may be answer
By Jenny Jarvie, Los Angeles Times, 12/11/05

See it now!

Issues, present day journalists duck,
Ed Murrow confronted with pluck.
You're searching for heroes
But turning up zeros?
All I'll say is, "Good Night and Good Luck."

Sure to be on many top 10 lists for 2005, this is a wonderfully complex movie that looks at journalistic integrity in the face of political, societal and commercial pressures and even personal vanity. It's worth the price of admission alone for Dianne Reeves' smoky vocals on the soundtrack. (hint to the Savant's friends and family looking for a last minute gift idea)

News in Black, White and Shades of Gray
By A. O. Scott, The New York Times. 9/23/05

What! No Tilt-A-Whirl?

Our ideal, into real, oft collides
When it's somebody else that decides.
It needed a symbol;
The writing was nimble,
But where were the Carnival rides?

Congratulations from the freak show at the far end of the midway of NEO bloggers.

NEO Nimble Minds Carnival
The first ever carnival of North East Ohio bloggers

All you need is...

Today we're remembering John.
It's twenty-five years since he's gone,
But the legend won't cease.
By imagining Peace,
We insure the idea lives on.

Is Lennon still an icon to the young?
By Stephen Dowling , BBC News, 12/8/05

Poetic license revoked

In Pakistan, poetry came
Done up in the guise of a game.
Initials combine,
One each to a line,
To reveal our real leader by name.

Veiled ode to George Bush deleted from Pakistani textbooks
Alex Kumi, The Guardian, 12/5/05

Revival of the poll tax?

It is true where there's fire, there is smoke,
But suggestion of fraud is a joke.
To require an I.D.
Is suppression, you see.
Why fix it, if it isn't broke?

Senate considers voter-ID provision
Julie Carr Smyth, The Plain Dealer, 12/6/05

No Tenzing Norgay...

To help me out of this one.

This one is for my wife who woke this morning to find me staring at her while I was lost in thought about how I might rewrite my last post. The only story here is the enduring one about how men and women communicate with each other.

While rousing from sleep, half aware;
You ask why it is that I stare.
So, as Hillary noted
And often is quoted;
I tell you, "Because you are there!"

Winner by a nose

Cleveland Clinic was setting the pace
In this cutting edge surgical race.
But then France finished first,
And our surgeons are cursed
With the question of how to save face.

French perform partial face transplant
Cleveland Clinic still plans full procedure
Harlan Spector, The Plain Dealer, 12/1/05

But wait! There's more!

Act now and you will receive one free year of
unexploded ordnance removal and,
as a special gift, a matching set of steak knives!

The Armed Forces are mostly inertial
When it comes to their acts, controversial;
So their planting of news
Will not end 'til they use
Ron Popeil in the paid infomercial.



Ronco's New Iraq-O-Matic
--The "V" is for Victory!--

U.S. Military Covertly Pays to Run Stories in Iraqi Press
By Mark Mazzetti and Borzou Daragahi,
Los Angeles Times, 10/30/05

Bush's exit 'stragedy'

A synopsis of Bush's Iraq withdrawal plans

We can leave without feeling remorse
If we build their security force.
Don't know that I'm able
To give a timetable.
'Stay the course' meant we're staying, of course.

Bush Maps Out Iraq War Strategy
The Guardian, 11/30/05

Professor Rumbledore casts a "Datum Obfuscata!"
spell to ward off the "Fortuna Reverso!" spell plaguing
his favorite student, Hairy (W.) Plodder.