Globe trotter

Each year, at this time, movie's hordes
Come to Holly wood like it was Lourdes.
I wish I could quit you
But have to know which you
Will bless with those shiny awards.

Globe wins establish `Brokeback Mountain' as Oscar favorite
David Germain, Miami Herald, 1/17/06

Happy punniversary!

After more than a year, it is time
I acknowledge this fellow in rhyme.
His writing's insightful;
His punning is frightful;
But it's all Brother K.'s paradigm.

Brother Kenya's Paradigm

Another Alito graffito

While our senators spar the devices
Of recusal and stare decisis;
Is Alito v. Roe
How it's destined to go?
We don't know but so far we see crisis.

A Right Cautious Nominee
Measured Replies Paint Picture With a Conservative Tint
By Charles Lane, Washington Post 1/13/06

Origin of specious

You may think the Savant had resolved:
"In '06, politics? Not involved!"
Could domestic surveillance
By right-wing assailants
Have meant I'd have thusly devolved?

No, I haven't been losing my spine.
My omissions are only a sign
That there never has been
An intelligence in
My creation by limerick design.

BREAKTHROUGH OF THE YEAR:
Evolution in Action
Elizabeth Culotta and Elizabeth Pennisi
Science, 12/23/05

Orchestrating a takeover?

The Rosenberg Principle

The brilliant young maestro, James Gaffigan
Is twice the conductor, and half again,
As Franz Welzer Most.
Incredible boast?
Well, yes. I'm just kidding, so laugh again!

A start that's anything but same old, same old
Donald Rosenberg, Music Critic
The Plain Dealer, 1/7/06

Risky business

As a user of slang, I'm no slouch,
But the winner this year is an "Ouch!"
I would much rather use,
"He has gone on a Cruise."
Or would that just be "jumping the couch."

‘Jump the couch’ is top gun of slang in '05
MSNBC 12/30/05

Monkey see - monkey do

A Review

Peter Jackson's created a "Kong"
That will make every movie buff long
To return to Skull Island.
It's a movie with style and
Delivers some brains with the brawn.

Merry Fristmas

'Twas the week before Christmas
and all through the House,
the congressmen grumbled
and started to grouse.

"We've carefully crafted
our measures to hide
any hint of goodwill.
Now the Senate's denied

Our attempt to have all
Civil liberties sacked
By renewing a barely
Changed PATRIOT act;

And drilling in ANWR
Was set to commence
Until the damn Senate
Cut that from Defense!

So our stockings are empty
As we're set to recess
But before we go home
We just have to express

Our seasonal greeting
That 'Never you fear,
If we don't get it now,
You just wait 'til next year!'"


Postponing Debate, Congress Extends Terror Law 5 Weeks
By Sheryl Gay Stolberg, The New York Times, 12/23/05

Finding solace in the solstice

This concern over greetings is rot!
Will my wishes be P.C. or not?
After weighing the trends,
I'll seek equal offense
And express them so "X" marks the spot.

Merry Xmas
Peace on earth
Good will toward men all

Church groups confront Wal-Mart for dropping Christmas message
By Tom Chorneau, San Jose Mercury News, 12/17/05
[And there are so many better reasons to attack Wal-Mart!]

History 102

Now dear students, it only is fair
That we seek to contrast and compare:
Was Bush-ordered spying
And pattern of lying
On a par with the Clinton affair?

Bigger brother
Editorial, Los Angeles Times, 12/18/05

Patriots Act! - call to action

I posted the following back in June but it, again, seems relevant.

It's time that each citizen be sure
How we act as to 'search' and to 'seizure:'
When rights are erased
By Congress, in haste,
We get to repent it at leisure!

"Married in haste, we may repent at leisure."
- William Congreve (1670-1729)
English dramatist
from The Old Bachelor, act v. sc. 1.

Contact your representatives and ask for an annulment!

If that's not enough to inspire you, check out Cowtown Pattie's more reasoned argument.

and if that's not enough to convince you, then how about this:

Bush Secretly Lifted Some Limits on Spying in U.S. After 9/11, Officials Say
By James Risen and Eric Lichtblau, The New York Times, 12/15/05

Critics of Patriot Act Gaining Momentum in Senate
By Richard B. Schmitt, Los Angeles Times, 12/16/05

Dyeing for a change?

While thoughts of past tyranny linger
Iraqis might shoot us a zinger;
And seek their redress
On those who oppress,
And give us the purple-stained finger.

Heavy Sunni Turnout as Iraqis Vote for Parliament
By Dexter Filkins, The New York Times, 12/15/05

A message from the sisters at

Gamma Gamma Chi

It's OK if you're wondering why
Would a Muslim sorority try
To open on campus,
But please do not stamp us
"The Sweethearts of al-Qaida Chi."

For Muslims seeking sisterhood, fledgling sorority may be answer
By Jenny Jarvie, Los Angeles Times, 12/11/05

See it now!

Issues, present day journalists duck,
Ed Murrow confronted with pluck.
You're searching for heroes
But turning up zeros?
All I'll say is, "Good Night and Good Luck."

Sure to be on many top 10 lists for 2005, this is a wonderfully complex movie that looks at journalistic integrity in the face of political, societal and commercial pressures and even personal vanity. It's worth the price of admission alone for Dianne Reeves' smoky vocals on the soundtrack. (hint to the Savant's friends and family looking for a last minute gift idea)

News in Black, White and Shades of Gray
By A. O. Scott, The New York Times. 9/23/05

What! No Tilt-A-Whirl?

Our ideal, into real, oft collides
When it's somebody else that decides.
It needed a symbol;
The writing was nimble,
But where were the Carnival rides?

Congratulations from the freak show at the far end of the midway of NEO bloggers.

NEO Nimble Minds Carnival
The first ever carnival of North East Ohio bloggers

All you need is...

Today we're remembering John.
It's twenty-five years since he's gone,
But the legend won't cease.
By imagining Peace,
We insure the idea lives on.

Is Lennon still an icon to the young?
By Stephen Dowling , BBC News, 12/8/05

Poetic license revoked

In Pakistan, poetry came
Done up in the guise of a game.
Initials combine,
One each to a line,
To reveal our real leader by name.

Veiled ode to George Bush deleted from Pakistani textbooks
Alex Kumi, The Guardian, 12/5/05

Revival of the poll tax?

It is true where there's fire, there is smoke,
But suggestion of fraud is a joke.
To require an I.D.
Is suppression, you see.
Why fix it, if it isn't broke?

Senate considers voter-ID provision
Julie Carr Smyth, The Plain Dealer, 12/6/05

No Tenzing Norgay...

To help me out of this one.

This one is for my wife who woke this morning to find me staring at her while I was lost in thought about how I might rewrite my last post. The only story here is the enduring one about how men and women communicate with each other.

While rousing from sleep, half aware;
You ask why it is that I stare.
So, as Hillary noted
And often is quoted;
I tell you, "Because you are there!"

Winner by a nose

Cleveland Clinic was setting the pace
In this cutting edge surgical race.
But then France finished first,
And our surgeons are cursed
With the question of how to save face.

French perform partial face transplant
Cleveland Clinic still plans full procedure
Harlan Spector, The Plain Dealer, 12/1/05

But wait! There's more!

Act now and you will receive one free year of
unexploded ordnance removal and,
as a special gift, a matching set of steak knives!

The Armed Forces are mostly inertial
When it comes to their acts, controversial;
So their planting of news
Will not end 'til they use
Ron Popeil in the paid infomercial.



Ronco's New Iraq-O-Matic
--The "V" is for Victory!--

U.S. Military Covertly Pays to Run Stories in Iraqi Press
By Mark Mazzetti and Borzou Daragahi,
Los Angeles Times, 10/30/05

Bush's exit 'stragedy'

A synopsis of Bush's Iraq withdrawal plans

We can leave without feeling remorse
If we build their security force.
Don't know that I'm able
To give a timetable.
'Stay the course' meant we're staying, of course.

Bush Maps Out Iraq War Strategy
The Guardian, 11/30/05

Professor Rumbledore casts a "Datum Obfuscata!"
spell to ward off the "Fortuna Reverso!" spell plaguing
his favorite student, Hairy (W.) Plodder.

Painful remedy

As multiple Vioxx suits lurk,
7,000 are now out of work.
After pulling the plug,
The once promising drug
Will, forever, be mired in this Merck.

Merck to Cut 7,000 Jobs, Close Plants
By Jim Zarroli, All Things Considered
NPR, 11/28/05

Playing the Blame Game

Plenty to go around

Yes, Democrats cannot deny
That they looked on this war with an "aye;"
But the blame we assign
For their sheer lack of spine
Doesn't give Mr. Bush a free bye.

Mr. Bush, you were quick to decry
Those who said that you led us awry;
But, for all your derision,
A lie of omission
Is, nevertheless, still a lie.

Pre-Iraq War Intelligence: A Look at the Facts
By Don Gonyea and Jackie Northam,
NPR Morning Edition, 11/23/05

Think of it as a harmonic convergence of sorts
By Molly Ivins, Creators Syndicate
Star Telegram, 11/23/05

Iraq: What Did Congress Know, And When?
Annenberg Political Fact Check, 11/19/05

On the cul-de-sac

This one's inspired by Cowtown Pattie's latest post:

I once thought I'd head down that street
With poetic anger, replete;
But awed veneration
Of Jack's generation
Has turned into feeling just beat.

Spiders Across the Stars
Texas Trifles, 11/17/05

Tortured passed

Could our motives be reckoned ulterior
In exposing the Shiite Interior
Ministry's acts?
Just look at the facts:
Our torture now seems so inferior.


The Debate Over Torture
By Evan Thomas and Michael Hirsh
Newsweek, Nov. 21, 2005 issue

Torture Alleged at Ministry Site Outside Baghdad
By John F. Burns, New York Times, 11/16/05

Call me irresponsible

You know, Mr. Bush, I'm a vet
But, like many, I deeply regret
That you lied led us to war.
It's a crime that, no more,
We'll continue to aid and abet.

In your own words: Fool me once; shame on you...

Beleaguered Bush hits out at 'irresponsible' Iraq war critics
Julian Borger, The Guardian, 11/12/05

If journaling makes you a journalist,...

avoid racing.

It took me a while to cull my thoughts about the lively and lengthy discussion over "blogger ethics" at Brewed Fresh Daily into limerick form. The result may win me no friends among bloggers.

Can the blogosphere just self-assess
Without standards imposed? Well, I guess;
But, for pros who write prose,
We ask more, I suppose,
Than this Internet Vanity Press.

Tech Link: Kent State panel discussion:
Ethics for bloggers?
Brewed Fresh Daily, 11/2/05

Make some beautiful music today:

The sweet music will stick in our throats,
When it's sung missing some of the notes;
And Democracy's song
Won't endure very long,
If it isn't composed of our votes.

Vote

Too busy to vote? Not her -- ever
Connie Schultz, The Plain Dealer, 11/7/05

To the Plain Dealer

And John Campanelli:

Gee, thanks for the kind interview
And the chance to show folks what I do.
If there's ever a time
You have reason for rhyme
The Savant will be there PDQ.

It's still the same old story...

Prime times indeed

In honor of his first appearance in the print media, an interview completely in limerick form, the Savant has decided to sponsor a "Complete the limerick" contest. Just finish the limerick below in the comments section of this post. I've offered some of my own examples to get you primed and don't forget to read the interview for some inspiration.

Credit will be given for keeping the meter, originality, and mostly for making me laugh. The sinner winner will receive an all expense paid (provided he/she pays all the expenses) trip to the disaster area of his/her choice or a limited edition copy of the Savant's chapbook, "Four-Year Funk," whichever disaster comes first. The chapbook is also available for purchase through December, along with some actually worthwhile articles, at the HeightsArt Gallery Holiday Store. Since Judge Alito may be otherwise occupied, the decison of the other judge(s) is final.


The Savant got to try something new
When they gave him a print interview.
Unlike Valerie Plame,
They're concealing his name;

a) But the photo might act as a clue.

b) Because Rove never heard of him, too.

c) Karl's response was, "The Limerick Who?"

d) Write your own, dear reader, and add it to the comments section

Prime times for rhymes
10 minutes with - The Limerick Savant
PDQ&A, by John Campanelli
The Plain Dealer, 11/6/05

Gulag Shock

Mr. Bush, we would like it explained
How Geneva can be so disdained.
A secret detention
Defies that convention
And the Truth is what's really detained.

Pressure on allies over CIA's 'al-Qaida camps'
· European commission and Red Cross seek answers
Nicholas Watt, The Guardian, 11/4/05

Flippin' the bird flu

If Bush worries 'bout citizens dying,
There's a cure he can find without trying:
Just bring the troops back
From his war in Iraq
And stop the pandemic of lying.

Bush Announces Plan to Prepare for Flu Epidemic
By Gardiner Harris, New York Times, 11/2/05

For a good time, call Sam

His decisions are sure to enthrall
Arch conservative pols, one and all.
So, meet Sam Alito,
He's Justice Graffito,
Cuz the writing is now on the wall.

Alito Could Move Court Dramatically to the Right
By Nina Totenberg, Morning Edtion , NPR, 11/1/05