"Less filling!" "Tastes great!!" "Less filling!!!" Tastes great!!!!"

The Savant proposes the following simple test to be administered to prospective candidates for the police academy; Harvard professorships; and President of the United States. [N.B. This should not apply to candidates for the Vice-Presidency, so Sarah and Joe can quit sweating. After all we still need some entertainment.]

Fill in the blank:

A rule of diplomacy states:
When engaging in ________ debates,
You better use tact.
If you overreact,
You are certain to open flood Gates.

Choose the best answer:

a. legal
b. racial
c. ethnic
d. classroom
e. White House
f. press corp
g. heated
h. beer-fueled
i. all of the above

The Audacity of Hops
By Jake Tapper, ABC News, 7/30/09

The 3 Rs - Readin', wRitin' & Robbery?

The myst'_y of "whe_e a_e the _s?"
Is hist'_y, the _ogues behind ba_s.
The culp_its we_e caught
But the _uckus they w_ought's
Like a bliste_ that's su_e to bea_ sca_s.

Letter Rs Stolen From Ind. Signs Returned
The Washington Post, 7/22/06

Limericks 101

Getting your feet whet

A limerick's mostly in jest,
But must pass a most arduous test.
No matter how witty
The ultimate ditty;
It is mostly a pun an' a pest!

I've had a number of recent visitors linking from the "limerick (poetry)" citation on Wikipedia in addition to a few requests for assistance writing limericks. I can only surmise that the latter were desperately trying to finish a high school English assignment at the last minute from the nature of their requests.

Despite the name, the Savant does not claim exceptional knowledge of this form, only exceptional ego. In fact, I often violate the rules and have occasionally been accused of antidactyl dysfunction by purists who say my verse doesn't scan properly. To them, I say, "Lighten up! It's only a limerick."

For those wanting instruction, I recommend the "Limerick Discussion Page" on David Finley's site, but don't blame me if your teacher gives you the "F" anyway. If you're looking for bawdy limericks, the definitive source is The Limerick, 1979, by G. Legman but it may be out of print. And now, in the words of Edward R. Morrow, good night and good luck.

Anapaest: Wikipedia entry
(No, it's not a city in Hungary)

Risky business

As a user of slang, I'm no slouch,
But the winner this year is an "Ouch!"
I would much rather use,
"He has gone on a Cruise."
Or would that just be "jumping the couch."

‘Jump the couch’ is top gun of slang in '05
MSNBC 12/30/05