Depp-lorable acts

The Hollywood vision is narrow.
True crime gives a chill to the marrow.
Real pirates aren't dashing.
Their acts should be smashing
Your image of Captain Jack Sparrow.

Pirates hold captain hostage as U.S. ship sails away
By Edmund Sanders and Julian E. Barnes
The Los Angeles Times, 4/10/09

No Jif's brands or butters

All because of this arrogant putz
Salmonella's infecting our guts.
It sticks in the craw
And we hope that the law
Strings him up by his poisonous nuts.

Peanut-borne salmonella is subject of outrage in Congress
By Rebecca Cole, The Los Angeles Times, 2/12/09

Heroes by any other name...

would tell us "geese."

Few fumble through life without blame.
Fewer ride their descent into fame.
But this pilot with skill
Has both given a thrill
And new meaning to "Sully" one's name.

Flight 1549: A Routine Takeoff Turns Ugly
Captain Sullenberger Recalls The Bird Strike
And The Tense And Crucial Minutes That Followed
Interview by Katie Couric, CBS 60 Minutes, 2/8/09

Dora the Destroyer?

Fisher-Price could be losing its shirt
Over marketing toys that can hurt.
Now, Transformers I get
As a possible threat,
But "the terror of Ernie and Bert?"

At Toy Stores, Recall Casts Doubt on Trusted Friends
By Donna St. George and Delphine Schrank
The Washington Post, 8/3/07

When Big Bird has lost his Street cred
What else is there left to be said?
Has Mattel, in its greed,
Just forgotten the need
To ensure that they haven't missed lead?

Lead Paint Prompts Mattel to Recall 967,000 Toys
By Louise Story, The New York Times, 8/2/07