Thursday, March 30, 2006

A break in the clouds

As if we had not had our fill
Of kill upon kill upon kill;
But Hope shines a ray
Of respite today.
With relief, we can welcome home Jill.

Journalist Jill Carroll Released in Iraq
By Jonathan Finer and Ellen Knickmeyer
The Washington Post, 3/30/06

Sideshow Savant

This carnival, broad as humanity,
Hawks wisdom as well as inanity.
So, if you will go
To the Beltway, below,
You'll find I'm indulging my vanity.

I was remiss in not acknowledging these other fine carnivals that also had the good taste to showcase the Savant-

The Carnival of Satire (#27)
At the skwib, 3/30/06

Carnival of Comedy 48: The Border Patrol Edition
At Dr. Phat Tony's, 3/29/06

Carnival Of The Celebrities
At Don Surber, 3/25/06

Carnival Of The Vanities # 184
At Below the Beltway, 3/29/06

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Guessed workers easily exploited

Immigration reform's come of age
Now that President Bush set the stage.
You may stay as our guest
And there's only one test:
That you'll work below minimum wage.

Immigration Follies
By Robert B. Reich, Web Exclusive
The American Prospect, 3/29/06

Friday, March 24, 2006

Chef's return: a dish served cold

He who shafts last, shafts best

Is it tasteful, not even a smidgen,
Using faith like a comic clay pigeon?
We applaud Isaac Hayes
For amending his ways
In defense of his crackpot religion!

Speaking of pigeons, see the Savant's take on another controversy over humor v. religion.

A 'South Park' Character's Return Becomes an Opportunity for Revenge
By Alessandra Stanley, The New York Times, 3/24/06

Thursday, March 23, 2006

The oracle speaks again

Will the buyouts hold any appeal?
After decades asleep at the wheel,
GM's taking these chances
To amend the finances;
But, for workers, it's "Deal or No Deal."

Up to 113,000 eligible for GM buyouts, opening door for Delphi exits
By Michael Ellis, Detroit Free Press, 3/23/06

Friday, March 17, 2006

Ratings plummet for the West Wing?

With strategic security theories
Reasserted by Bush, patience wearies.
Even sponsors are tempted
That he be preempted.
Better yet, why not cancel the series!

Bush to Restate Terror Strategy
2002 Doctrine of Preemptive War To Be Reaffirmed
By Peter Baker, Washington Post, 3/16/06

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Limericks 101

Getting your feet whet

A limerick's mostly in jest,
But must pass a most arduous test.
No matter how witty
The ultimate ditty;
It is mostly a pun an' a pest!

I've had a number of recent visitors linking from the "limerick (poetry)" citation on Wikipedia in addition to a few requests for assistance writing limericks. I can only surmise that the latter were desperately trying to finish a high school English assignment at the last minute from the nature of their requests.

Despite the name, the Savant does not claim exceptional knowledge of this form, only exceptional ego. In fact, I often violate the rules and have occasionally been accused of antidactyl dysfunction by purists who say my verse doesn't scan properly. To them, I say, "Lighten up! It's only a limerick."

For those wanting instruction, I recommend the "Limerick Discussion Page" on David Finley's site, but don't blame me if your teacher gives you the "F" anyway. If you're looking for bawdy limericks, the definitive source is The Limerick, 1979, by G. Legman but it may be out of print. And now, in the words of Edward R. Morrow, good night and good luck.

Anapaest: Wikipedia entry
(No, it's not a city in Hungary)

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Cheers, Mrs. Gundersen

How could dishwashing get a bad rap
When good fortune falls into your lap?
Though a line has been crossed,
We think nothing is lost
With the suds flowing right from your tap!

Beer pours from apartment's kitchen faucet
Chicago Sun-Times, 3/14/06

Friday, March 10, 2006

Guess we knew how to quit you?

Any stories of torture or shock
That the prisoners report from the block?
We're tellin' you, babe,
It ain't us! Abu Ghraib
Now belongs to our friends in Iraq.

U.S. to Hand Over Notorious Prison to Iraq
The Guardian, 3/9/06

Thursday, March 09, 2006

What he did for Love - 40

Succeeding at tennis is tricky;
So a parent who isn't too picky
As to how his kids win,
Might commit a small sin
And slip their opponent a Mickey.

Frenchman gets 8 yrs jail for drugging tennis foes
By Jean-Yves Saint-Ceran, Reuters
The Washington Post, 3/9/06

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Finish this sentence:

"I am al-Qaeda..."

The Feds now admit that they might
Have stopped 9-11 pre-flight
And claim it is how we
Were duped by Moussaoui
That terrorists hid in plain sight.

Moussaoui 'hid 9/11 plot details'
BBC News, 3/7/06