More revisionist rhetoric

What does the report represent?
It depends on how truth can be bent:
For if you are free
Of those Dubya M D,
We'll attack you for just your intent.

Report Finds No Evidence Syria Hid Iraqi Arms
By Dana Priest, the Washington Post, 4/26/05

Maybe it's just the ivory-billed woodpecker

The PATRIOT act caught us napping
As our liberties took a good rapping;
But, never you fear,
That sound that you hear
Isn't Big Brother a-tapping.

Wiretaps in U.S. Jump 19 Percent in 2004
By Devlin Barrett, The Guardian, 4/28/05

Good news: the ivory-bill has not passed

Extinction is Nature's home wrecker:
But thanks to an Arkansas trekker
We could save "ivory-bills,"
And no little blue pills
Are required for reviving this pecker.

[N.B. Thanks to cyberthrush at Ivory-bills LiVE!! for linking and making me think about changing the last line to what you see above. LS 4/18/07]

Ivory-Billed Woodpecker Rediscovered in Arkansas
NPR Radio Expedition, 4/28/05

Bolton nomination is U.N.done

All hail George Voinovich

The news that his anger was molten
And he bullied his staff was so joltin',
That the Dems can give thanks,
In Republican ranks,
Some members are leanin' towards boltin'.

In surprise, vote on Bolton delayed
GOP senator asks to hear more
The Boston Globe, 4/20/05

Mel Gibson is happy

The conclave selected a pope
Who won't slide down that slippery slope.
So it seems "Cardinal No,"
Keeping doctrine in tow,
Will be known now as "Pope of the Nope."

From Hitler Youth to the Vatican
The Guardian, 4/20/05

Keeping abreast of silicone II

In an F.D.A. policy shift,
That should leave the competitors miffed:
Seems Mentor may sell
Its silicone gel,
Which should give all their boobs a big lift.


Having exhausted more breast puns than even he can tolerate, and not to minimize the real need for safe alternatives for those needing reconstuctive surgery; the Savant suggests you visit this very worthy site:



FDA panel supports firm's breast implant
The Boston Globe, 4/14/05

Let history or Roger Waters decide

In an act of unparalleled gall,
Mr. Bush ranked Saddam Hussein's fall.
Pink Floyd might object
To this lack of respect
In comparing his war to "The Wall."


Support our troops; not our boobs!

[NB: In his hubris, Bush really thinks his war is on a par with the war against Fascism and the fall of the Third Reich but he couldn't spell "Fascism" and doesn't know how to pronounce "Reich."]

Bush likens Saddam's fall to end of Berlin Wall
By Bill Sammon, The Washington Times, 4/13/05

No support for silicone breasts

In silicone, some place their trust;
Some feel they just pander to lust.
But to keep you abreast
Of the F.D.A. test:
The implants are still a big bust!

Panel upholds breast implant rule
FDA advisors vote to keep partial ban on silicone devices
San Francisco Chronicle, 4/13/05

Papal funeral delegation

A message from our administration

Among living leaders of state
We're afraid Jimmy Carter won't rate.
Instead he's been snubbed
For the one to be dubbed
Our own Condoleeza 'the Great.'

Carter's Absence From Group Reignites Tensions With Bush
By Peter Baker, The Washington Post, 4/8/05

Skip the crises; I am Pisces

The Savant has just gotten his wish
And grown out of that old Petri dish:
TLB's ecosystem
Will currently list him
Among all the "Flippery Fish!"

The Truth Laid Bear Blgosphere Ecosystem

Untapped Laughter

My knowledge, I fear, had a gap
About maples and why we must tap:
This explosive report,
For a sec, took me short
'Til I realized I was the sap!

Thanks to Robert Siegel and the NPR bunch for catching the Savant off guard, this evening, on his usually tedious commute. You had me LOL the whole way home!

New England Suffers Maple Woes
By Robert Siegel, All Things Considered, NPR, 4/1/05

Life with dignity

Death makes us all April fools

As we ponder the ethical scope
Of a death, be it Schiavo or pope -
That the pontiff may choose,
While another refuse;
Is the concept that gives us all hope.


Moral Clarity
CBS News, 3/31/05

Two very different lives exposed by the media grip us all
Daniel Schorr, The Christian Science Monitor, 4/1/05