Last R-E-S-P-E-C-T-s and Half-(m)ast Efforts

The recent deaths of two notable Americans has the Savant thinking about their legacies in these divisive times and the sharp contrast of their lives with that of the current resident at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. One of these celebrated individuals performed much of the soundtrack of the Savant’s youth and had a significant effect on the advances of the 60’s civil rights movement. The other, a Viet Nam war hero and Republican Senator, had views widely divergent from the Savant but a basic integrity and patriotism that one can admire. Both were esteemed in their fields and remarkable for the desire and the ability to bring people of differing views together for a greater purpose. It is that loss that Limerick laments the most. Here then are two elegies on what that loss "means to me" and what seems to be missing from the White House this week and probably in general.

Aretha, you taught us to see

What a beautiful world this might be

When we sing with one voice

And make the right choice.

And that spells RESPECT to a “T.”

His dis of McCain, now complete,

The cowardly Trump sent a tweet

On the patriots end;

But he’ll ne’er comprehend

How a hero can conquer defeat.

The Helsinki Pinky

Now that Trump has delivered this pitch:

“Who’s to blame? We can’t say which is which.”

There is no disputin’

The summit with Putin

Has proven he’s Vladimir’s bitch.

For students of history, if the president's performance today doesn't bring to mind Neville Chamberlain in Munich in 1938, it should.

Tyrant Sore as Rex?

When you challenged the Prez on Iran,

You must know that the Trump hit the fan

And that’s why my dear Rex

You became the next ex

And, what’s worse, you were canned in the can!

Hopeless Cause?

Mr. Trump, there’s no reason to mope.

We are sure you’ll be able to cope.

For, despite our worst fear,

Since early last year,

We have all learned to live without Hope.

Yeah, the Savant knows this one was way too easy but he still could not resist. After all, since Jan. 20, 2017, aren't we all a little resigned?

The Candy Date's J-bait!

Roy sez:

Other’s standards, I simply ignore.

After all, what's a teenager for

But to fondle and grope;

Even when she says “nope!”

Like some voters, she really wants Moore.

What's next? "Irma la douce?"

Lack of empathy isn’t a crime

But we think that Trump warrants a rhyme

With the shear nonchalance

Of his Harvey response:

Quote the president, “Have a good time”

The Savant knows that supporters will say that Trump was only trying to bring a mood of optimism to those in Texas recovering from Harvey's devastation but as usual his choice of words conveys a certain insensitivity to the suffering of others that is characteristic of Trump's self-aggrandizing demeanor.

Lucky for him, but not many others, that he will be getting another opportunity this week to demonstrate some honest human emotion. 

Honest Loyalty

Mr. Trump, I defy you to show me

An allegiant more loyal than Comey.

So when he testified

And implied that you lied,

It was clear that he’ll not be your homie.

Some advice for Sean Spicer

No matter what doubters may say, say

“The president’s really OK.” 'K?

Though his language seems strange,

Trump’s not truly deranged.

He’s just lost without his covfefe.

Stars, Felon, Alabama

Though he’d claimed to be greatly maligned

The stars over Bama aligned

And Governor Bentley

Has, not incidentally,

Accepted his fate and resigned.

BTW, if you are looking for a new drinking game, then try a shot of your favorite spirits every time you hear Bentley invoke a supreme being in this video of last week's denial. A guaranteed buzz before it is over.

Mr. President, give it a rest!

Mr. Trump, are you thinking, perhaps,

The American public are saps?

What you claim to be knowing

Is just your wind blowing

And the blowing keeps sounding like “Taps!”

The Worth of a Nation

In a world filled with Trumped up decriers,

Alternative facts, and big liars;

Don’t you think it just grand

They can love La La Land

While not being Moonlight deniers?

Yow! Are we having fun yet?

No question, ’twas destined he’d win it.

As Phineas Barnum might spin it:

In the coming world order,

A new Trump supporter

Is bound to be born ev’ry minute.

Yes, just like you, the Savant is still reeling from what occurred last November and he doesn't mean Thanksgiving with your crazy family. Having had several months to digest the news of what is likely the worst event of his life with the exception of the Lincoln assassination, (No, he wasn't there but his good friend Fred Douglass told him about it) he feels that true to his motto he has no option but to return from semi-retirement. 

During that hiatus from his doggerel and while seeing if his dog'll roll, sit, or beg with the proper incentive; he was lulled by the knowledge that after all, even though there were continuing tensions at home and abroad over race, religion, nativism, gender, and income inequality, we did elect the first black president, twice!

So how did we screw this one up so badly? Well, despite Mr. Trump's obsession with so-called "voter fraud," the only fraud perpetrated on the American people was one that they bought into willingly or through their own complacence. We have allowed ourselves to be hoodwinked by a carnival barker, a consummate showman, who has been peddling his circus act for years. While some of us have remained outside the tent, laughing at the absurd claims and preposterous boasts but mildly entertained, we have ignored the line of paying customers scrabbling to be included under the Trump Big Top. By making vague, even contradictory, statements about what he can do for us ("Make America Great Again") and at the same time playing to our worst fears ("rapists, murderers") he makes us feel understood, appreciated, and part of something bigger and life changing.

No, it wasn't Russian hackers, Putin, James Comey, or Hillary haters that turned this election. It was our own gullibility and credulity and until we take responsibility for the outcome we will be powerless to do anything about it.

Pinheads are everywhere

"We just don't Obamacare!"

The primaries here lack no drama.

Arch-conservatives swear: "on yo' mama

I am Christian and white

And will serve the far right;

Yadayada and, I'LL FIGHT OBAMA!"

Seems that in November the President plans on standing down from office and moving to Alabama, where he will run for everything from governor to county dog-catcher; or so Republicans running in the primaries here would have you believe. Whether they have a party opponent or not in the primary, there is no discussion of issues or differences; only a game of one-upmanship on who despises the President more. And how our local Public Services Commissioner plans on stopping "ObamaCare" remains a total mystery to the Savant?

Happy Voting today, especially to those of you who live in a place where your vote might actually make a difference.

Survivor

The cardinals' conclave is nigh and
They'll give it the old college try and
Select a new pontiff.
It's what we all want if
He's not voted off of the island.

Where are you ever going to find reality TV as good as this?

Did a Cross-Dressing Priest Sex Ring Bring Down Benedict XVI?

by Barbie Latza Nadeau Feb 22, 2013,The Daily Beast

The Catholic Church Is Insular and Intolerant

by Robert Shrum Mar 8, 2013, The Daily Beast

Three Ring Circus?

The advice that Mr. Romney's campaign staff should have given him before last Tuesday-

Have you added this one to Reminders?
Since you only see gender through blinders:
"Never ever declare
That the way to be fair
To women is keep them in binders!"

So, Mitt, if the reactionary shoe fits...

Mitt Romney's binders full of women just don't stack up

Emma G Keller
The Guardian, 10/16/2012

For the sake of argument

A Resonable Man

The Savant has been wondering what would have happened had the current case before the Supreme Court been argued before the renowned jurist, Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.:

Though Justice Scalia posed cockily

"Can we mandate that people buy broccoli?"

His question's absurd.

Even if you're insured,

You don't have to go to the doc, Ollie!

Yes, the Savant has stretched things a bit for the sake of a rhyme, but Scalia stretches reason with his ridiculous proposition. And what's the man's beef with broccoli? Maybe if he ate a few more vegetables it would clear up his fuzzy logic?

Judging the Health Care Law

NPR, 3/27/12

An attack ad worth your attention

The partisan venom, let's shelve

For the moment, while all of us delve

In this criminal's past

And agree now, at last,

That it's Kony in 2012.

The Savant acknowledges the critics of this campaign and recognizes there is more to the history of Central Africa's problems than Joseph Kony and the L.R.A. but the man is an international criminal and is there any justification for the brutal conscription of children as soldiers and sex slaves?

The argument goes that Northern Uganda has been at peace for several years and that the L.R.A.'s influence has declined and that pursuing Kony and his band may only incite him and his followers to further violence. Has that ever been a good argument for letting crimes against humanity and their perpetrators go unpunished?

Yes the video is propaganda and grossly simplifies the very complex problems occurring in the region but if the movement has helped to raise awareness to the point of drawing such criticism it has been successful and maybe this is a model for how to get the public to recognize important issues without George Clooney having to get our attention first.

Lessons of 1984

Innovation awakened the mobs.
Cupertino, can you hear our sobs?
Though an Apple a day
Could keep drabness away,
In the end, it could not save our Jobs.


The Limerick Savant


Apple’s Visionary Redefined Digital Age
STEVEN P. JOBS, 1955-2011
By John Markoff, The New York Times, 10/5/11

Saenger Anger

So our loss at the Saenger's a gain?
What's writ on the wall is now plain:
In the new CLA
Robert has it his way.
It's out with the old and in Sain.


NB - The Savant felt it was time to inject a little local venom.

Centre for the Living Arts dismisses Saenger manager Penton
By Lawrence F. Specker, Press-Register, 9/21/11

Mission Accomplished?

Well, what do you know about that?
Future terrorists' plans must fall flat!
Since Obama has shown
With bin Laden's iPhone
There's an app that can tell where you're at.

Seems like we finally had intelligence where we needed it: in the White House

Osama Bin Laden Killed
NPR, 5/2/11

Wats-on TV tonight?

We see jeopardy in the concession
To A.I. in its latest accession.
"This outsmarter of men,
Unlike Brad nor like Ken,
has a name in the form of a question."

Computer Wins on ‘Jeopardy!’: Trivial, It’s Not
By John Markoff, The New York Times, 2/16/11

Rhymes with L'orange

So the World's most notorious geek
Has been caught by obscure double-speak:
Was it sex by consent
When he failed to prevent,
With a condom, his own WikiLeak?


British Judge Denies Bail For WikiLeaks Founder
NPR, 12/7/10

No King = No Jester

The Savant would like to take this opportunity to announce that he too will be exercising his free agency in a couple of months but, unlike LBJ, he will be moving to a city (to be named later) that doesn't have a single major league sports team. Let's see if that gets the rumor mill cranking.

He made us Witness this?

All at once, without skipping a beat
Cleveland suffers its latest defeat.
Now the infamous curse
Couldn't get any worse
And LeBron will be taking the Heat.





In the end, LeBron James inflicts needless pain
on the region that raised and loved him
Terry Pluto, The Plain Dealer blog, 7/8/10

More than a game?

Listen Cleveland, there's nothing to fear;
We're convinced that LeBron's staying here.
Consider his attitude;
You're bound to feel gratitude.
He's nothing if not Cavalier.


LeBron James will choose Miami Heat tonight,
according to reports
Brian Windhorst, The Plain Dealer, 7/8/10

The Holy See (no evil)

The Church keeps denying the scope
Of the problem with clergy who grope;
But continued abuse
Only tends to confuse.
Should we call him the Perp or the Pope?

Should There Be an Inquisition for the Pope?
Maureen Dowd, The New York Times, 3/30/10

Reconciled to reform

No more wellness dependent on wealth
Or insurance retracted by stealth.
Despite GOP jeers,
The Savant replies, "Cheers!
Here's to Congress and here's to your health."

For Consumers, Clarity on Health Care Changes
By Tara Siegel Bernard, The New York Times, 3/21/10

Who dat?

We seemed beaten and down on our knees;
Now, redeemed with our team's fleur-de-lis.
Let the hurricanes blow.
In New Orleans we know
That redemption can come on a Brees.

New Orleans turns out to welcome Saints home
By Richard Fausset, Los Angeles Times, 2/9/10

The few; the proud; the...

Openly gay service members.

They are patriots, serving us well.
So, why is this such a hard sell?
It's the generals' task
To ensure, if we ask,
It's, "You're gay and you're proud? Well, do tell!"

Thanks to Mike for getting the Savant thinking about an appropriate response to this issue.

Colin Powell now says gays should be able to serve openly in military
By Karen DeYoung, The Washington Post, 2/4/10

Hope for Haiti Now

With dimwits like Robertson rife
How will Haitians rebound from this strife?
It doesn't take voodoo
To know that what you do
To help them might just save a life.

DONATE

Within Days, a Global Benefit Takes Shape
By Michael Cieply, the New York Times, 1/21/10

Corporate takeover

The Supremes never batted an eye
While deciding it's time that we try
Voiding campaign reform;
Readjusting the norm:
The best government money can buy.

Supreme Court OKs unlimited corporate spending on elections
By David G. Savage, The LA Times, 1/22/10

Maya Ingénue?

Is the doomsday prediction unfailin'
Or the year 2012 easy sailin'?
A potential world-ender
Not on the agenda:
Could the Mayans foresee Sarah Palin?

Sarah Palin vs. Barack Obama:

The approval gap silently shrinks to a few points

"Less filling!" "Tastes great!!" "Less filling!!!" Tastes great!!!!"

The Savant proposes the following simple test to be administered to prospective candidates for the police academy; Harvard professorships; and President of the United States. [N.B. This should not apply to candidates for the Vice-Presidency, so Sarah and Joe can quit sweating. After all we still need some entertainment.]

Fill in the blank:

A rule of diplomacy states:
When engaging in ________ debates,
You better use tact.
If you overreact,
You are certain to open flood Gates.

Choose the best answer:

a. legal
b. racial
c. ethnic
d. classroom
e. White House
f. press corp
g. heated
h. beer-fueled
i. all of the above

The Audacity of Hops
By Jake Tapper, ABC News, 7/30/09

Who sesso?

Said Prime Minister, S. Berlusconi,
"I'm insulted by all this Bologna
That implies I would pay;
When they line up to play,
Just for pleasure, with my cannelloni!"

Silvio Berlusconi’s age wins him support over alleged affairs
By Rosemary Righter, The Times, 7/22/09

You were there

He needn't rely on some buzz.
He was Cronkite! We watched him because.
When New Media rules
While forgetting the tools,
We'll remember the way that it was.

It seems fitting to honor this man on the anniversary of the moon landing. How can we forget the shared mix of excitement and relief we felt when "Uncle Walter" took off his glasses and said "Whew! Boy!"

Cronkite -- that's the way he was
Colleague Daniel Schorr says that legendary newsman
Walter Cronkite represented something deep
in the psyche of America, embodied in the word trust.
By Daniel Schorr, Los Angeles Times, 7/20/09